


Let us blow them all away

by Ashlin_M_Harsley



Series: And we make our mistakes [1]
Category: Hamilton - Miranda
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, F/F, F/M, George Eacker Being an Asshole, George Washington is a Dad, George Washington is a grandfather, Human Disaster Aaron Burr, Human Disaster Alexander Hamilton, Philip Hamilton Lives, Single Parent Aaron Burr, Violence
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-23
Updated: 2021-02-08
Packaged: 2021-03-09 02:46:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 25
Words: 38,471
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27166780
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ashlin_M_Harsley/pseuds/Ashlin_M_Harsley
Summary: Theodosia and Philip know that they shouldn't do this, for a hundred reasons.But honestly? They couldn't stay away from each other if they tried.
Relationships: Aaron Burr/Theodosia Prevost Burr, Alexander Hamilton/Elizabeth "Eliza" Schuyler, George Washington/Martha Washington, Susan Reynolds/Angelica Hamilton, Theodosia Burr Alston/Philip Hamilton
Series: And we make our mistakes [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2149044
Comments: 41
Kudos: 41





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hey everybody,  
> This fic is mostly inspired (nearly copied) by a roleplay. I hope I'll be able to upload regular, after I hadn't much motivation to finish my other fanfiction.  
> I still hope you all enjoy it

**Happy Halloween**

_By the pricking of my thumbs, something wicked this way comes_

_// Macbeth//_

Theodosia has narrowed her eyes and holds the red cup like its going to save her life. The bad music is thumbing in her head, and the room smells like sweat and something different she can't quiet pinpoint.

After Frances dragged her to the Halloween-Party and abandoned her not too long ago, Theodosias was staying between laughing and talking Teenagers, most of them much cooler then her. Her anxiety set in and made it impossibly to relax into this. After walking trough the whole house twice, she finally found the place that saved her life: an empty couch! She sat instantly down, fingers chained around the cup in her hands like its an anchor and she is about to drown.

She don't likes parties. Not at all, and alone the idea that her father could find out where she is gives her stomachs. Lying to him is one thing, he is always worried about her and she don't likes to be dishonest, especially since he is the only family she has left.

She presses the thought away, when someone falls onto the other side of the couch and gets their phone out. The person looks up, they are wearing a Frankenstein-masc and long coat, balancing a cup in hand that is definitely alcoholic. Theodosia narrows his eyes, when the phone disappears in the pocket again and they rip the masc from their face. She tries not to groan at the sight of Philip Hamilton, putting the masc next to him and stroking sweaty curls from his face. He looks back. “You don't like it here either, hu?” He asks.

Theodosia leans annoyed back. Okay, so the most obnoxious boy in the world wants to talk with her. She has mercy, because he is obviously stuck here too, even though she isn't sure who would drag him to a party like this. She somehow assumed her classmate would spend all his weekends on events like this anyway. “Is it that obviously?” She asks.

“For someone in the same situation? Yes, it is... how did you end up here? You don't hang around in places like this a lot, do you? I haven't seen you before on any, I mean.” Philip says, which is commented with an huff and glance by the other teen.

“I could ask you the same thing.” She makes a pause. “Frances dragged me here, against my much better judgment. When I find her, I am going to leave.”

“After you find her? Don't take it personal, but you aren't exactly searching.” Philip teases with a grin and the redness fades from his face, after being stuck under the masc for so long.

Theodosia is dressed up as a witch, a costume chosen by Frances as well. “Who dragged you here?”

“I play watchdog for my little sister. She once went on a date with one of Thomas Jeffersons sons. Since then, my dad wants me to constantly be her babysitter, which would be much easier if she wouldn't do what she wants anyway.” Philip says and a small grin slips onto his lips. Its almost proud.

“Oh, how sweet. I see, you're really committed to the job I see.” Theodosia says, after letting her eyes wander around the room without finding Angie Hamilton anywhere. Philip snorts amused and Theodosia wonders since when it is so easy to talk with him, without Philip insulting half the school, including herself.

“Of course I am. She is my little sister, so when I take always care of her, she will never learn making own decisions. Its like... you wouldn't learn anything if your dad was around all the time, would you?” Theodosia raises a brow at his explanation and has to hide a smile, which then disappears as he continues talking anyway. “Talking about which, how did you manage to make him allow you, to come here?” Theodosia bites her lip and looks away.

“My father allowed me to go out.” She says dry and adds quickly: “I just might have forgotten to mention the party.”

Philip grins and nips on his drink. She normally isn't a rule breaker, not at all. But her father would not in a million years let her go to some party, especially when he don't knows the kids that throw it. And Aaron Burr don't knows any children, that's just a fact. “Ah, so you lied to him? I can tell, from personal experience, that parents aren't pleased by that a lot.” Philip says in his smartass-voice. Its the voice that could make Theodosia throw up, because its the same voice he uses in classes to show the teachers their mistakes and to give an confident answer, after students tried to do the same and failed. She hates this voice.

“I wouldn't say lied. I stretched the truth, that wont kill him.” Theodosia looks into her cup. Philip argues:

“Thats just a nicer word for lying, but keep telling that yourself. I wont rat you out.” He promises with a wink.

“Little witch. Does the costume has a meaning? Planning on casting a spell onto someone?” The teen huffs lightly and looks the Hamilton back into his eyes. “If you're not careful I'll cast a spell onto you.” She deadpans. She grins nearly satisfied, seeing the surprised look on his face. She did not prepare for Philip to lean towards her, so their faces are only inches away from each other and say in smug voice, with his typical prince-charming smile: “I think you already casted a spell onto me, Burr.”

She feels the blood creep onto her cheeks and Philips smell of deo and parchment into her nose. She even feels his breath on her face and leans instantly back, hoping the boy wont see her flustered expression. She takes a deep breath and pulls herself together again, what isn't hard anymore. She used it as method to calm down, after her mother died and Theodosia was struggling with anxiety, even more then before. Alone that she has to think about it yet makes her stomach knot together.

Philip gets up with a small yawn. The room gets really stuffy. “I go outside, its hot in here. You want to join in?” He asks polite and Theodosia don't thinks much about it, before getting up as well. They make their way trough the people.

“I hope you're not a creep, when I go outside with you.” Theodosia says when Philip opens the door that leads into the backyard.

“But I am creepy!” He says whiny and a bit dramatic. “I have skulls, and weapons and a picture of myself that gets older, while I stay young and pretty, all in the attic.” He says with a grin and sits down, leaning his back against the facade. It calms him down a bit and he dims his voice, stroking the curls from his face once again. He forgot to make a bun.

“Poor George, hu? When his dad comes home, hell will break lose. I think someone lit the couch on fire.” Philip says and Theodosia stands a bit awkward in front of him. She don't wants to sit down onto the wet floor, so she finally just leans her back against the wall.

“This guy has only to blame himself. What would you expect, inviting a bunch of unchaperoned teens into your house?” House is putting it modest, since the building is more a mansion, with huge garden. Nothing compared to Mount Vernom of course, but no building Philip ever saw can be compared to Washingtons house, so that's not a fair comparison.

“Of course, but I don't want this guy to be grounded until college. And you would do something like this too, when you get taught at home and never meet any other teens. At least he has fun and is a bit tipsy.” Philip says and Theodosia don't answers anymore, since she don't even knows this George-Guy. From what Philip tells, he throws the party and he seems to know him, but Philip Hamilton is friends with anyone.

“Also, he don't has any siblings. Living alone with his father, and being grounded too, must be hell. They have an library in the basement, but not being allowed to go out for weeks? No way, I would lose my mind. You should understand, you don't have siblings right?” Theodosia shakes her head about this. She is her fathers only daughter and only child in general. No siblings, no half-siblings and no hidden cousin that will ever give her a lot of money.

“That must be cool, never to be alone in the house.” She says, thinking of how big and empty hers is a lot. Her father works a lot, mostly when she is in school, but when her mother was still alive, the house never seemed so huge. Its the space that no one uses anymore, and the dust that stays in places it never did before. Hard to believe that she is already gone since nearly three years.

This is the third Halloween without her mother. She spent the first at home, not even aware that it was Halloween. She just laid curled together on the couch, until Frances came in and put a scary movie onto the TV. They mostly ignored and just laid snuggling on the couch, eating chips. The second year, Frances asked her to join her at a party, but she dismissed her and gave out candy instead. Those special days, linked to special memories with her mother, like Halloween, the birthdays or Christmas, are the hardest. On the first Christmas, Theodosia went into the kitchen to make coffee for her parents, like she did since she was eight years old, and when she came into her fathers office, she stopped in the door and just ran into her own room again. He sat crying at his table, face buried in his hands. That was the worst Christmas she ever had.

“-Burr? Hey, are you still there?” Philips voice drags Theodosia back into reality. She looks at the boy, who got up and laid a sinewy hand onto her shoulder. She raises a brow, since everything looks blurred. “Yes, I'm fine.” She brings out, but her voice is raspy and Philip don't looks convinced. He don't takes his hand away.

“You cry. Do you want me to search for Frances?” Theodosias hand goes instantly to her face, and she feels the wet skin. She looks embarrassed down and at the black make-up that sticks to her fingertips. She slowly shakes her head and still can't believe she started crying! And that in front of Philip Hamilton, great. He'll never let her forget about that, at least when he remembers anything tomorrow. He looks drunk.

“No. No I will just go home, its already late and I had a long day and-”

“Okay, I get our coats.” Philip says and finally takes his hand from her shoulder. The warmth disappears instantly from her skin there.

“Wait, what do you mean our coats?”

"If you think I'll let you walk home alone, three miles in the darkness, you think worse of me then I guessed.” Philip claims and they stare at each other for a while. Theodosia ponders if he's serious, while Philip wrinkles his forehead and shudders from the cold. She sees the goosebumps on his naked arms.

“The only creep I should be scared of is you, or my father when I come home too late again.” She says and Philip huffs lightly, before turning to the door. He feels a bit offend by her statement. “And I want to go, can as well bring you home first. I think Susan lives in the same neighborhood anyway. So wait here.” He orders and goes inside.

Theodosia has no chance to tell him, that he isn't allowed to command her around, since he is already inside. She meanwhile tries to remember if she ever heard about a Susan Hamilton, or if she is one of Philips girlfriends, which he changes like Hogwarts their teachers in Defense Against The Dark Arts. Or even more often. Not that Theodosia ever thought about any of Philip Hamiltons girlfriends, because they all look the same in her eyes and have all names that sound like Britney, Brooke, Stacy or names like this. White upper-class, mostly in the cheerleader-team or making some other sport. He keeps them for a while and then gets rid of them just as fast.

Theodosia would call him a fuckboy if she ever talked with Frances about him (what they aren't doing), while Frances would probably just say he is slutty and cheap. She isn't exactly wrong, Theodosia thinks.

The door opens again and some girl comes outside. Her curled hair is dyed in a dark red and she wears a leather-jacket over the vampire costume (both red and black as well.) She also got a walking cane with silver skull on the handle, and the wood is painted (oh wonder) red. She is pretty and a bit small, but got curves. Theodosias breaths hitches when she sees that the purple and yellow marks in her face aren't make-up, but look far too real.

“Hi! Are you the individual we shall bring home, before thy father finds out the maid is missing?” She asks, her voice strange and the words spoken old and rusty. She takes Theodosias hand and kisses the knuckles, before bursting out laughing. Philip pulls her back. “Don't take her serious, she is drunk and a bit insane.” He says to Theodosia and the vampire holds giggling onto Angelicas arm.

Theodosia takes a deep breath, still a bit shocked that this total stranger just confused her. “Theodosia, those are my sister Angelica Hamilton, and my good friend Susan Reynolds. Aka, the girls I babysit tonight, so they don't get into trouble.”

A “good friend?” Theodosia is sure that she saw Susan before, so Philip is probably right about the neighborhood, but it don't makes her feel any better.

They walk away from the house, the two girls still linked to each other and Philip with the hands deep in his pockets. “I really don't wanted to drag you away from the party.” Theodosia says after a while of silence.

Angelica glances lightly over at her, but Susan already answers with her strong voice, that sounds even more confident then Philips: “Eaker showed up not five minutes ago, so we wanted to go anyway. Not like you can have any fun with this asshole around.”

Theodosia raises her brows and Angelica lays her hand onto Susans upper arm, as if to calm her down. She don't feels really well around those strangers, but they have a lot of way ahead, so she hopes she isn't acting too awkward.

“Right, Eaker can kill down every party. He and Pip are always bragging like an old couple in their divorce.” Angelica claims and Philip makes an grimace. Theodosia has to giggle, but don't dares to ask who this guy is. He don't seems too nice, but so does Philip Hamilton, or his family in general.

“I just have some pity for George. He has to clean up the whole house himself, and Monsieur Lafayette might kill him, when he comes home from his trip and finds the house in ruins.” Susan says. Philip nods. They are friends since he can think. His father and Monsieur Lafayette always spent a lot of time around the same people, and Miss Martha was watching the Hamilton kids and Lafayettes son as well, when they were younger. George Washington de Lafayette and Philip Hamilton nearly grew up like brothers, and when Philip met Susan then a few years later, at the divorce of her parents where Alexander was called as witness, George liked her too of course.

“Oh, where is his trip?” Theodosia asks interested and all three teens answer at the same time: “France.”

Theodosia giggles lightly at the trio. Angelica has still her arm looped around Susans and Philip tumbles a bit, being more tipsy then any of them thought- They are chaotic and it makes Theodosia feel warm, to see how close they seem to be. She hasn't seen Philip in a light like this, quiet and thoughtful looking at the yellow clouds on the black sky. He is nearly sympathic that way.

Oh, what a night


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for the kudos :) I try to upload a lot in this week, because I don't know how much time I will have after my autumn-holidays (probably not much)

_ Chapter 2 _

_ others are reckles with their hearts and forget to be kind _

_ // Courtney Peppernell _

When Theodosia sets foot into the library, she is immediately aware of her own hitched breathing, since the only noises are pages being turned, dimmed steps and someone whistles a melody. She looks around, before going into the aisle with books about the Civil War and pulls one hardcover out of a shelf. She stares at it for some moments, but she is so tired that the letters don’t make any sense. She puts it back without a second thought and just takes a biography of Abraham Lincoln.

She goes to the seats and falls into one of the armchairs. Theodosia opens the book and acts like she is reading, so she does not feel like she didn’t waste her free evening sleeping in the library.

But to her own defense: After she came home, her father gave her a lecture since she was late and did not answer her phone. Ntt that Aaron could ever be seriously angry at Theodosia, but he was worried. So she went to bed afterwards, but then, somehow at three in the morning, her father woke her and said he has to go back to New York for a few days. They try to pass a new Bill and so the Senator of New York has to be… well, in New York. 

“So… I think we have everything.” A boy with a thick accent says, putting down a lot of books on the table, right next to Theodosia. She glances lightly up when the whistling stops finally. The melody is now stuck in her head anyway.

“We have History, English, French, Geographies and Math. What will you major in, mon amie?” The boy asks.

Philip sits down on the table and looks around. “French. Where is the book for Spain?” He asks. Theodosia puts her book down and now fully stares at Philip. How can he look so fresh and relaxed, after going to a party yesterday?

The older boy looks back at Theodosia, when his friend pulls the requested book from the stack. She closes the cover. “Major? I thought we just needed that in our last year?”

Theodosia feels panic grow in her. Does she already need a major subject? She has to learn a lot more, if they already want her to choose. Her chest feels pressed together, but Philip shakes his head and the stranger answers. “Oh non, Philip might jump a year. So we can start columbia together.” HIs accent is now even thicker, but his words are chosen carefully. 

“Oh.” Theodosia looks at Philip who nods with a small grin. “Yeah, so we learn every weekend. Watch out, or you learn something from him here too.” Philip says and his friend smiles shy, while the Hamilton lays an arm around his shoulder. 

He shoves the arm slowly away and holds his hand out for Theodosia to grab. “My name is George Washington de Lafayette. It's a pleasure to meet you Mademoiselle.”

Theodosia lays surprised her hands into Georges, but he kisses her knuckles and then lets it go. She feels blood rush into her cheeks. Wow, and she actually thought Philip is the flirtiest boy she will ever meet. Then she hesitates and has to hold back a confused laughter. “Wait, your name is-”

“Don’t even ask. It’s really his name. He is Grandpa Washs golden boy.” Philip peeves and George gives him a sour look. Philip only pulls another curl from his face, back into the half bun and sits down to open the first book.

“My papa and Monsieur Washington are really close. That's why I’m named after him.” He explains and while Philips eyes fly over the pages, he starts to whistle this melody again. “But you haven’t told me your name yet.” He adds and Theodosia hopes the ground opens up and swallows her. How could she forget that? She didn’t sleep enough, not nearly!

“My name is Theodosia.” She says and adds fast: “Burr.”

“Oh, like the Senator and Lawyer?” He asks and Theodosia nods slowly and unsure. Her father. Right. The man who raises her and said to stay away from the Hamiltons. On the other hand, she can’t remember if he ever mentioned someone called Lafayette, so she puts the thought aside and takes her book fast.

Besides from that, she never likes when people know her father, as soon as she mentions the name. It's just awkward. “Yes, he is my father. Why do you ask?”

Internally she nearly prays that he wont say something bad about him. “Your dads were in the army together. Did he never mention that?” Philip asks, absent. He wears small glasses on his nose, sprinkled with freckles, and Theodosia has to press her lips together, to stop the laughing. She never saw Philip wearing reading glasses. He looks like his father, she recognizes. Not his body or the hair, of course, but he has the same face, only lighter and freckled. It is cute.

  
“No, he never said that. Just that he was with your dad, and he stole his place as the Generals right hand.” Theodosia says and now Philip looks up. Under his eyes are dark shadows. He narrows them and huffs. “They both applied and mine was more successful. I thought as a senator you shouldn’t lie?” 

Theodosia bites her tongue to keep quiet. Talk less, smile more, talk less, smile more. Like a mantra those words flood through her head. What an asshole! 

“Philip! Sois gentille! Pauvre fille!” George scolds and Philip sinks with his forehead against the papers he put onto the desk as well. He groans lightly and nods. “Sure. I’m very sorry her father tells lies because of his hurt ego!” He spits out.

Theodosia feels the heart in her chest cramp. She hates when people talk like this about her father and never got used to it. Not in the papers and especially not in real life. Who does this idiot even think he is?

“At least my father didn’t write his own sex-scandal” She claims angry. Philip gets up from his chair, face so dark that he looks much older. It's like everything that made him a teenager vanishes.

George steps in front of him and lays a hand onto his chest, as if to hold him back. “Non, Philip don’t you dare.” He hisses, in the moment Philip opens his mouth. He closes it again and looks back at George, hesitating. Then he turns around and disappears between the shelves.

Theodosia exhales. She didn’t recognize that she held her breath before, but now it feels like someone pressed her under water too long. George looks worried at her, with soft brown eyes. 

“Don’t take it personally. Sometimes he says stupid stuff and don’t means it. He just wanted to let his bad mood out on someone.” He explains with a small voice. Philip doesn't pop out of the shelves anymore.

“Doesn’t make him any more sympathetic.” Theodosia grumbles. She really can’t see what all those Stacies and Britneys and Amandas want from Philip, except for a piece of political fame from his father, but she never saw any of his girlfriends in the papers, so that isn’t successful obviously. 

“Non, it doesn’t. But you should not think he doesn't like you or anything.” George says and Theodosia recognizes how cute he actually looks. Not hot or attractive like Philip, who is the worst fuckboy in school, but just sweet. He talks soft and has caramelcoloured skin, bright eyes and wears nerdy glasses. “Well… thanks I guess.” Theodosia says and fiddles nervous around with her hands.

Philip comes finally back, an old book in his hands. That kills the mood then. “So, do we work now or what?” He asks and sits down.

George nods and looks a last time at Theodosia, before sitting down next to his friend and they start to read the worksheets out for each other.

Theodosia sighs lightly and gets up. It's not like she reads the book anyway, so she takes it with her home. Her heart pounds in her chest, in rage of this boy. She isn’t a angry person, maybe a bit emotional, but what Philip just said about her father feels like a punch in the guts. How dares he? 

The whole way home she ponders about this question, so bad that she even misses the house and walks down the street. She stops when the first raindrops hit her head. She looks up at the grey clouds above her and sighs. What is she even doing here?

She turns around and marches to her house, unlocks the door and calls a “I’m back!” inside, which isn’t answered of course. Right, her father is in New York to do things the Senator of New York is supposed to do. She looks up at the framed photo on the wall, while taking off her yellow Vans.

Her father and mother laugh brightly into the camera, while Aaron has an arm wrapped around Theodosias hip. He holds her that way up and the small child tries to kiss her mother's cheek, but she is too wide away to reach.

This metaphor is nearly ironic. She can’t reach her mom, and now the house is empty and cold.

Theodosia goes upstairs into her room, puts the heather on and lays with the laptop onto her bed. SInce she can’t sleep anymore (she tried after waking up at 6 in the morning. On a saturday) she puts the book on the nightstand and opens Instagram. She tips in: 

>George Washington la Lavajet<

Nobody with this name. She groans lightly and just falls with the face first into her pillow, before she decides for the easy way, named Frances Laurens.

Theodosia sends her a quick text, not ten seconds later she gets the contact send with the name >President Lafayette.< Ten other seconds later, her mobile rings and Theodosia takes the call. Frances.

“Did you talk to Georgie?” She asks and Theodosia shrugs lightly. Frances can’t obviously see that. “I met him today, he seemed nice. Is he nice?”

“Probably the nicest guy you can find in the whole country. But he already has a girlfriend, sorry Dosia.” 

“I don’t want his number because of that!” Theodosia protests and feels herself blush. She isn’t sure why she wanted it, but surely not for that. She never had a boyfriend and that can also wait. It's not like she needs a guy to feel loved or anything. She is independent, smart and after her mother's death she had a lot of other stuff to do and no one wants a girl with that much to carry. Its just a fact, Theodosia thinks.

She is bored and tired and feels lonely. Maybe that's why she wanted to see Georges Instagram. She sighs and closes her eyes.

“My dad is in Jersey.” Theodosia says, because Frances won't believe her about George anyway. She just changes the subject. Frances smirks. “I’m there in twenty minutes. Ciao Dosia.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The quote from the beginning is also by one of the greatest poets of our time. I got it from a book called "Pillow Thoughts." 
> 
> I also changed a few things from the roleplay. Not everything is the same, of course.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I actually don't like to upload 2 days in a row, but I had a good day and wrote about 15 sides alone in this fanfiction, so I thought its okay to upload it right now.  
> Thank you for the feedback, and feel free to leave constructive criticism

_ Chapter 3 _

_ Life becomes easier when you learn to accept the apologies you never got _

_ R. Brault  _

“I hate players.” Frances says. She lays on her back, legs up the wall and the blonde hair in a bun. She chews gum and has one hand underneath her head. Theodosia sits next to her cross legged and has bit her lower lip. She has her mobile in hand and scrolls through Georges Instagram account.

“It's none of my business. If they want to be players they can be, as long as they don’t insult anyone.” Theodosia says a bit absent and then lets the mobile sink down. She goes with the hand through her curly black hair to get them out of her face, and then lays down next to her best friend.

“I just don’t see why they are friends. George seemed so nice and Philip is just..”

“A Hamilton? Oh come on Dosia. There is a reason this family is so famous. Living the American dream, talking their way into comfortable positions. My momma told me to stay away from them, and I’m going to listen this time.” Frances says and Theodosia hums lightly. She knows that Frances is right with this. They have the perfect life. So many siblings, a huge house and especially: two loving parents.

  
“Why are they friends? Honestly, the way they barked at each other they looked like a couple in divorce.” Theodosia says and Frances snickers at this idea. 

“Oh right. George is very loyal, that's probably why. If it was any different, we wouldn’t have any contact anymore too. We were good friends as kids, and now we see us on birthdays and parties no one actually likes.” 

Theodosia closes her eyes a bit. She can’t keep track with all the people Frances knows, first because she is bad at remembering names and second because Frances has just too many friends. “You know, the Hamilton was friends with my daddy. That's what my mom told me. He hasn’t visited even once after the funeral. The Mulligans and Lafayettes always helped her while Hamilton ran away. Really shitty.”

They stare in silence at the ceiling, on which is a long fairy light that illuminates the room in yellow and white. Frances shifts around and swings her legs out of the bed. She walks to the window and glances outside into the darkness. “Do you want to go into the movie theater on sunday? I want to see the new X-Men, and we could ask George to come along.” 

Theodosia shrugs. “There’s a new X-Men coming out?” She asks and then nods lightly. “Sure. I have time.” She says. Frances knows that, of course. Everything Theodosia really does on the weekends is going to the graveyard, to church with her father and sometimes she bakes something. In moment like this, she recognizes how boring her life really is.

“Great. I will pick you up then. What are you doing tomorrow?” She asks and again, Theodosia just shrugs. How is she supposed to know what she does tomorrow? It's not like she plans that. “Graveyard, Church and afterwards maybe Pizza.” 

Frances groans lightly. “You really sound like a hardcore Christian, do you know that? Like an old wife.”

“I am not a hardcore Christian!” She protests. “Well, what do you suggest I do? I go to visit my mom and I go to church with papa, almost every time.”

“Okay, but your dad isn’t here. Do you want me to come along to your mom?” Frances asks a bit softer. Theodosia sighs and shakes her head. “I’m old enough to do that myself, you know?” She says.

“Alright. I gotta go know, mom wants me home for Dinner. I see you then on sunday.” Frances says and hugs Theodosia tightly, before leaving. Theodosia stays in the bed for a while, thinking about tomorrow and what her dad might be up to. She lets her legs fall down the wall and crawls under the blanket, squeezing the life out of her pillow. She actually hoped talking with Frances might cheer her up, but now the room feels even lonelier and bein insulted as “Hardcore Christian and old wife” isn’t exactly what she understands under becoming happier. 

It does not take her long to fall asleep, after the day felt much longer than it actually was. In the morning, she stays in bed for a bit and listens to the walls. She somehow hopes to her the tv, or her father walking around in the kitchen downstairs, but its quiet and so she gets up and dresses, without Aaron being at home.

There is a mail on the phone, so she calls her father right back. He does not answer his phone and she decides to write him a short text.

>Good morning,

I hope your call wasn’t important, I was already asleep. I go out now, visiting momma and eat at the pizza place. 

Have a good day Pappa<

She continues to go into the kitchen, serves herself a sandwich and goes with it to the door, where she gets into her yellow vans again and walks out the front door. The air is misty and cold, a typical November morning.

She stops on the threshold and turns her head over to the mailbox. What the hell is he doing here?

Philip stands there, a silver termo in hand and looks up when he hears the door fall shut behind Theodosia. For a second they have uncomfortable eyecontact. She walks down the three stairs to Philip. “What are you doing in front of my house? Do you plan to blackmail me?” She snaps and Philip takes instantly a step back.

“What? No I…” He scratches his head awkward. “I wanted to apologize. For being a jerk and I thought… maybe you’re home. But then I thought its probably too early to ring the doorbell, because I don’t wanted to wake you up, but you are already awake and I didn’t knew that. That's why I wanted to write you a letter, or a notice so it won't be totally awkward in school and-” He cuts himself off, hearing that he rambles. Theodosia has raised a brow at his questionable statement.

  
“You want to apologize?” She asks in disbelief and Philip nods, already opening his mouth again. Does this boy ever shut up? She wonders. “Yes, because I really acted like an jerk yesterday. I was in a bad mood and was unfair to you and probably insulted you and your father and I am normally not that much of an ass towards someone I hardly know. Or, someone I know but don’t have a problem with, and I don’t have a problem with you, do I?” 

Theodosia shakes her head unsure. She has to blink several times to understand that this teenage boy, son of the most stubborn person walking this earth, just apologized to her. She did not think he is mature enough for that, but even most adults would’ve just moved on.

Another thought hits her: how can she let him be the bigger person in this situation?

“I wasn’t exactly friendly either. It wasn’t okay bringing your dad in there and all…” She says and feels blood rush into her face. Philip looks down and fiddles with his hands around, which are covered in wollen gloves. “Already forgotten, don’t worry. So… everythings alright again?”

She nods and looks Philip up and down. He wears a flannel. A pretty ugly flannel, to be exact, and denims that seem too big for him. His hair is pulled into a ponytail and he just looks really scrappy like this. Normally he wears good clothes.

  
“Where are you going?” Philip asks and Theodosia just answers with a short: “Visiting my mom. What about you? You look like a farmer. Do you head south?”

Philip shakes his head. “No, I drive over to Mount Vernom. I help grandpa Wash in his garden, with George and Angie. Its pretty huge so he needs a bit help when-”

“Oh my God, you like gardening?” Theodosia bursts excited out and Philip presses his lips smirking together. He nods. “Yep, do you like gardening?” 

As if it isn’t obvious. Theodosia nods fast and hopes she does not look like a total child. “Yes, I try to convince my father to get one since I can think. They are so pretty and I could get flowers for my mother without having to buy them in the store always and it's such a nice hobby!” 

Philip smiles and feels warm at her babbling passionately about it. He puts the hands into his pockets. “Then you just have to see the garden at Vernom this year. You will love it, once we finish it. You and your father come to Grandpa Washs christmas party right?”

Theodosia raises her eyebrows. “I don’t know, actually. We stayed home for the last years, but I would love to come and see the garden.”

Christmas for two is actually a bit depressing. She and her father watch some films, eat chicken or something like this together, and then give each other a gift. It has lost its magic, somehow.

  
“You need to convince him, then I'll even give you a personal tour through the garden we’re about to built.” Philip says almost a bit proud. Theodosia nods her head. “I would be disappointed if you didn’t.”

Philip smirks and looks behind her at the two-story building. “Are you alone at home? I saw your dad in the papers this morning.” He explains and Theodosia nods slowly, not too happy about the mood change. It shouldn’t affect her that much, being alone for a while. Normal teens would probably be happy to be a bit alone at home.

“Yes, in New York.”

“Mine too. And Wash drives there in the afternoon I think.” Philip says and feels that it starts to feel a bit strange. “Well… I go to the pizza place later. And if you want to join in… I mean, if you don’t want to eat alone you can come along.” Philip says without thinking about it. There is silence for a moment and Theodosia wonders if he makes fun of her, asks her for a date, or just wants to be friendly.

“Uhm... “ She already wants to tell him that this is very friendly but she’ll definitely not go out with him, but then she thinks about sitting alone in her kitchen, or at the restaurant by herself, and that takes the decision away then.

  
“Sure. That sounds great.”


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for the kudos this story got,  
> I hope you stay all healthy out there, and I can soon upload again.

_Chapter 4_   
_She wanted what every young heart wanted._   
_For something beautiful to find her beautiful._   
_// Atticus_

  
The day is fast over. Theodosia spent it talking to her mother, before going home and making a snack. She also put all the dirty clothes into the washmashin, did her homework and then laid a bit on the bed. She scrolled through social media and did not think too much about what Philip said.  
She wondered a bit if he was right about Washingtons garden, so she googled what Mount Vernom looks like, before immediately shutting the laptop close. Alone the photograph of the building makes it seem huge, and she can hardly imagine what it's like to be there.

As a child her father and mother celebrated Christmas at home, and after the older Theodosia died, her father didn’t think about even answering the invitation he got from Washington. The Ex-President just gave them one to be polite, he knew that Aaron would spend his first christmas not on some political party. Hopefully they go this year, because the last two were sad and frustrating. Also, she wants to see this garden Philip talked about. 

She is so deep in her thoughts that she hardly hears the doorbell ring. When she finally understands what happens, she stands already in the door in comfortable sweatpants, pink slippers and an old shirt she stole from her father, that is far too big. Those aren’t the clothes she was planning on, and it doesn’t make her feel any better when she sees Philip in his ripped jeans, the Ravenclaw hoodie and his hair pulled together. It's a bit wet, so he took a shower a bit earlier. 

“Hey, Burr.” Philip says and plucks on his gloves. He does that a lot, Theodosia thinks. The same way he always taps his fingers on the desk in school, or whistled in the library. She really has to ask him what song that was, it's still stuck in her head.   
“Uhm. Hey.” Theodosia brings out and steps back inside. “I didn’t think you’re here this early. Come in, I need to change clothes.”

Philip steps into the corridor and Theodosia tells him to stay where he is, as she rushes upstairs and slams the door shut behind her. She grabs the first things her hands get in the closet and puts the pants and blouse on, before looking into the mirror. Her hair reaches into every direction and she curses in her head, wondering why she ever stopped wearing braids. Probably because her father isn't able to make her real braids. Not that he didn't tried. He even took a course, but it never worked out.

  
She fishes a hairband from the desk and tries somehow to pull it all into a bun. When she is halfways happy with it, she rushes down the stairs again and stops in the middle of the stairs.

Philip has folded his hands behind his back and looks at the big framed photograph of Theodosia and her parents. She watches a bit helpless, as Philip turns to her with a small smile. “This is a very pretty picture. You look a lot like the woman. It's your momma right?” 

Theodosia can only nod and every step she takes makes her legs feel like she might fall every moment. Not because she is nervous around Philip, but because she really doesn't want to talk about her parents. Especially not her mother.

It's not that she doesn't love to talk about her, but whenever she mentions that her mother died, everyone treats her like she is made of glass and might shatter every moment. She isn’t fragile.

“Thank you. Yes it is my mother.” She says and grabs her vans. Frances once drew a heart onto the side, with a marker.

“Cool. I look more like my father, and I act more like him too. But I got my momma’s common sense. Thank God hu?” He asks and Theodosia has just to nod.

She doesn't know much about Alexander Hamilton, only what her father told (He’s a bastard, orphan and son of a whore) but if that’s all the truth is another question. She doesn’t even know from which state the man is. 

“So… how was gardening at Mister Washington's house?” Theodosia asks instead, being really interested in what he tells about it. She met George Washington exactly once, when he showed up at her father's doorstep for some emergency meeting, and Aaron sent her instantly into her room. But she remembers exactly how huge this guy was and it still impresses her, that he talked so soft.

“It was great. We had to cut a lot of the flowers and carry the smaller trees into the basement, but the real fun was getting all the vegetables and fruits. I have alone for my family three buckets with potatoes, apples and a few huge pumpkins. Do you want some too?” He asks.

Theodosia isn’t sure if he means that, but it seems like it. To her own surprise, Philip goes to some scrappy car with a lot of scratches on the blue lack and opens the trunk. She wasn’t aware he already owns a car, and if he did, she thought it would be a present from his family. A really expensive looking machine. This is neither of it. He probably bought it himself.   
The trunk is full of buckets and huge pumpkins. Philip whistles amused, the same melody from yesterday. “See? With this I could feed not only my family but the continental army.” 

“I mean… if you really don’t mind if I take some of it…” Theodosia says and Philip nods. He takes one of the buckets.

“Here, a pumpkin as well? I hate pumpkins, so my momma won't make soup out of it.” He says and Theodosia is a bit overwhelmed when Philip really takes the biggest one out and puts it onto the ground. She giggles lightly, because it just looks like he is still a child.  
“Alright, let’s bring it inside.” She says amused.

  
After twenty minutes they finally arrive at some pizza place. They spend a lot of time discussing if they should go to Dominos or Pizza Hut. Now they are in some no-name dinner and Philip holds the menu wide away from his face. He is too proud to get his glasses out yet, and then just closes it again, looking a bit annoyed.  
Theodosia hides the amused grins behind her own card and ready the few meals that stand on every menu in the whole state. Pizza, Burgers and Fries. 

“So… you are into history?” Philip asks and puts the menu back where it came from. Theodosia wrinkles her forehead. “What?”  
“In the library, you read the biography of Lincoln. Are you into history?” He says and Theodosia nods slowly her head.

“A bit. We just have a lot of books about history at home and I read in my free time.”  
“Your own books? Or your parents?” Philip asks interested. They both choose their words carefully, maybe this will be an experience that makes them stop arguing in every class. 

“Mostly my fathers. He once told me that he read those to me, when I was a baby and just wanted to hear his voice. It drove my mother crazy.” She chuckles lightly at the warm memorie and Philip grins. He taps his fingers against the desk, again.

  
“Really? Mine teached me to read when I was still in kindergarten. You know with what? The declaration of Independence.” Philip says with a wide smirk on his face and Theodosia giggles.

“I think they wanted us to retain information. Now it makes sense why I am such a genius.” Theodosia teases and they get their drinks. A water for Theodosia and Cola for Philip. He narrows his eyes, but doesn't say anything about it.

“It obviously didn’t work out with any of us. What a great thing I have 6 other siblings to make my parents proud. You have only one shot. You don’t have siblings, right?”  
Theodosia looks silently at him. She clenches her jaw and shakes her head slightly. Who knows? Maybe she would’ve got some if just- if everything would’ve been less painful and had taken a happy ending.

Philip stops the tapping with his hand, feeling the mood drop. “Uhm, you can borrow some of mine. I have way too much.” He tries to sound joking, but it isn’t really working.  
“Right… I might come back to that.” Theodosia says and takes her glas to nip on it. They sit in silence for a while, but before it can totally die down Philip comes again up with a subject.

“So… why don’t you get your own garden?” He asks and Theodosia actually smiles again, her eyes light up. They remind him of Christmas. When he and his younger siblings make hot chocolatein a pot, and the black chocolate and milk become a sweet cream to drink. 

Philip looks at her and feels the blood creep into his cheeks. “I always wanted one, but my dad says they are a hassle to keep up. But this way I could grow mom her own flowers, and I had finally a hobby, except for annoying Frances.”

“Definetly, but I like to be there and mom likes fresh vegetables. And dad needs sometimes a reason to come home, that isn’t just seeing his annoying spawns.” Philip says with a small grin and then continues: “You never convinced him otherwise?”  
“I tried and haven’t given up yet! I will get my mother her roses, goddamnit” She says and Philip chuckles low. He doodles on the handkerchief and grins absent. 

He has looked down, but the red is still on his cheeks and Theodosias heart nearly skips a beat, when he flicks a curl from his face. She scolds herself for it and clears her throat instead. “So, I like gardening. What about you? I still don’t know what you like, except for cola.” Theodosia says and Philip looks up again.

  
“Sweets. Everything with a lot of sugar, basically.” He says a bit cheeky and Theodosia rolls her eyes. Player… “And Literature. Especially poetry. But I like short-stories as well, I just don’t write really long texts.”   
Normally he doesn't tell that to a lot of people, but since Theodosia likes to read it's not such a nerdy thing to say. 

Theodosia grins and leans a bit forward, hands folded under her chin. “Oh really?” She asks and bites her lower lip. “What do you write about?” She never tried poetry, since she thinks she is probably not eloquent enough for it. Philip looks down at his hands.   
“Depends. Mostly what is going on in my head, you know? It helps writing everything out, about everything you feel until it stops. About pressure, society and politics but mostly… love. Not this romantic, but friendship and family and-” He cuts himself off, recognizing that he stumbles across his words again. 

“Love? Ah, that's adorable.” She teases with a wide grin and Philip makes an offended face.

“See, that's why I don’t tell anyone. You laugh.”   
“I do not laugh. I just didn’t assume you’re emotional. I actually think it's kind of cute.” She explains and already wants to take the words back when they leave her mouth. Did she just tell him that he is cute? Philip stops tapping his fingers and clenches one to a fist, before spreading his fingers. He nearly prays that she can’t see how flustered he looks. Since when does Philip Hamilton get flustered by compliments?  
She continues talking. “Can I ever see one? Or are they private?”

  
“I will think about it.” He promises and raises a brow. “Are you interested in poetry?”  
Theodosia shrugs lightly. “I never wrote a poem and I’m not reading a lot of them either. Anyone I should ever read?” She asks and Philip instantly nods.

“Yes. Too many. But there are a lot of great teens around DC, you know? George writes too, and sometimes we go to those events around here. Although… he is more of a musician.”  
Theodosia narrows her eyes a bit. “There are such events around here?” She asks and their food arrives. Philip instantly grabs for his slice of pizza and nods his head. “Yep. We go on the weekends. Interested? I think George would love to see you again,. Like… as a friend. He has a girlfriend.” 


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello,  
> my fever is wearing a bit off and since I stay in bed all day anyway, I had time to write the next chaper.  
> I hope you enjoy it and all stay healthy out there, especially now that there's really a reason to celebrat, with Biden becoming President of the United States, and not having to suffer 4 more years of Donald Trump, taking away human rights.
> 
> Take still care of yourself, this pandemic isn't nearly over.

Chapter 5

And all I loved, I loved alone

// Edgar Allan Poe//

Philip taps his fingers against the wheel, whistles a melody and the rain drops against the window.

"What song is that? You made the same in the library." Theodosia recognizes. A small smirk appears on his lips.

"George. He made it on the violin and I try to write the text." Philip says and glances over at her. "Do you like it?" 

"It's stuck in my head. Isn't that enough?" She asks.

"Since you haven't heard the real melody yet I'll act happy." He mocks.

"You actually think your lyrics will make the melody better? Bold, Hamilton. Very bold." Theodosia says and Philip scoffs, as he parks in front of the Burrs house. Philip leans a bit back and nods.

"That's just the way I am. Brave beyond belief."

Theodosia has the hands folded in her lap and smiles lightly. Philips whistles die down and only the sound of the raindrops is to hear and the heather blowing warm air around.

"Well… then I see you around I guess?" Philip asks with a raised brow. Theodosia presses her lips together and nods slightly. "Yes, I hope so." 

She lays her hand onto the door, but hesitates. "I had a really good time Philip. Thank you." She says a bit unsure and Philip feels the smile on his face.

"Me too." He says and scratches the back of his neck, a bit awkward.

"Maybe we… I think we should do that again. I would really like coming along to your poetry-thing next week." Theodosia says after she straightens up and overplays the nervousness with it, challenging her inner Aaron Burr. Philip grins amused and nods. "You do? Okay sure. I… I pick you up then and…" He grabs under the seat and brings a black notebook out. He writes his phone number on it, rips the page out and hands it Theodosia.

"Text me, yes?"

“Sure. Then I see you on our next date.” Theodosia says joking and Philip makes a playful face, not backing away from her mocking tone.

“Oh, I didn’t knew this was a date. Then I should bring chocolate and flowers, before you bewitch me even more hu?” He asks and Theodosia gets, with a stoned face, out of the car. She looks at Philip. “You can’t get every girl the same way. Try that with your Tiffanies and Emilies.”

Then she walks towards the house. Philip hesitated a moment, but can’t let her have the last word. “So chocolate and flowers are good enough?”

Theodosia rolls her eyes, but Philip can’t see it. She unlocks the door and steps with a grin on her face into the house. What a dork. Now it makes sense why he never hangs out with the real jocks.

Philip starts the car again and drives home, already the papers and books in head that are waiting on his desk. He is always proud of his grades, did not write anything worse than B- since he was 15. Maybe it is silly, but he couldn’t show his mother those bad Grades, after the reporters lined the lawn and his father wasn’t in the house. He worked in his office, went to some Dinner for food and slept in the office as well. Philip just couldn’t disappoint her anymore, so he was with his siblings all the time, and spent the rest of the time learning or being with George. Nothing else. Family, learning, school and sleeping. If he had the time to sleep.

He puts the thought aside and goes home. It's warm inside the house and he hears the TV, his siblings run somewhere through the house and it smells like fresh food. Probably soup, if he guesses from the scent.

Philip gets out of his coat and pops his head into the livingroom. His father sits on the floor, in front of the tv-screen and cries, while Patrick Swayze and Jeniffer Grey dance. Philip sighs and folds his arms, biting his lip.

“Hey pops, whatcha doing?” He asks and leans casual into the door. Alexander tears his eyes from the screen. “Mh? What?... O, just chanell surfing, you know.” He rubs a bit over his reddened eyes and Philip raises a brow, amused.   
“My allergies. Bad again.” Alexander adds and for a few moments they stare at each other. Philip isn’t stupid enough to believe that his father was chanell surfing, but stupid enough to make a comment about it. “Alright. Continue crying about Dirty Dancing. I go upstairs.”

Before Alexander can yell at him, Philip sneaks upstairs to the attic, a chuckle on his lips. The attic isn’t high. It's a long and small room, with one window on every side of the roof. The bed stands in the middle, on one sidewall, and the desk is under the window that gives a look to the neighbours house that's been empty since they moved in. The walls are lined by books and papers, a poster of Edgar Allan Poe hangs from the wall above his bed and candles stand everywhere too.

He grabs his book from the desk and opens the first one. Biology. A subject that breaks the world down into the smallest element, something most students will never need again, and uses a lot of complicated words.He sighs and looks at the page.

The cells of plants. What's the difference to the ones of living beings? Hu, plants. 

Theodosia likes plants. Philip glances down at the garden, but there aren’t any flowers blooming anymore. Maybe he should ask Washington, he can surely take some sunflowers from him.

If Theodosia likes sunflowers? Most girls Philip hangs out with prefer roses, but Susan likes poppy, red as her hair, and George always has a fresh bouquet of Phlox standing on his window.

He glances down at the book again. He should really learn that, instead of thinking of flowers. He closes the book. Should he even bring her flowers? Is it a date or not? Why does he even worry about this? It's not like this would be the first time he goes out with a pretty girl.

Only the first time he goes out with a girl that actually seems to be interested in what he does, and not just who he is. 

>Hamilton’s smartass firstborn<

Philip gets up, before his thoughts can become any more dark, walks down into his mother's bedroom and knocks on the door. “Hey momma? Can I borrow one of your books?” He asks.

Eliza holds her daughter in her arms, the little Eliza Holly. The small girl sleeps as Eliza strokes her hand through the black curls. “Of course. What do you need?”

Philip goes to the shelve, goes through it and then takes a collection of Flower-Language out. He shows his mother the cover, who raises her brows.

“Since when are you interested in flower-language?” ELiza asks confused, but not unpleased. It’s nice to see how Philip tries to learn everything he can, but that seems a bit suspicious.

“Since today.” Philip says. Since someone talked about gardens and plants with eyes that sparkled with so much enthusiasm and happiness he can’t get it out of his head. Since she talked passionated about flowers and pulled a curl out of her face.

“I will return it soon. And thanks, love ya.” Philip says before rushing out and jumping onto the bed with the book. He feels totally silly, opening the book to decide what flowers he shall get. He really should go to the flowershop, give them 15 Dollar and tell them to make something pretty, but he would also feel stupid if he bought her some flowers that look too ordinary.  _ Are there even ordinary flowers? Could my brain shut the fuck up? Who knows. I do not. _

Philip ignores the book for a few moments, then grabs his mobile and tips in Georges number. It rings a few times, until the young Frenchman takes the call. “Pip, how are you doing? Great you call.”

Philip groans lightly. “Georgie, I think I’m sick. Can I come over?”


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I finally typed the new chapter (while I am actually suppossed to learn for my next exam in history, but damn it to hell.)  
> I can't write much at the moment, because my computer broke down and my mom don't wants that I use her laptop all the time. I have probably to wait until Christmas to get enough money for a used-laptop or something like this.
> 
> I hope you enjoy the chapter anyway, and maybe leave a comment :)  
> Also, I translated the quote by Steinhöfel myself, so I can't say if I did it word for word right. But I love The Center Of The World, so I wanted the quote.

Chapter 6

_ I never forgot this: that you love to forget the cold and expel the winter. _

_// Andreas Steinhöfel//_

Philip sits in the car. It’s freezing cold, the heater was already broken when he bought the car. A yellow ford, not fast or anything, but it is his. His little piece of freedom. 

First Alexander wanted to buy him a car. He is a lot in the media, he doesn't want to see his son drive around in a used car, but Philip stayed stubborn and got his will. He bought the car himself.

William sits next to him on the passenger seat and stuffs pieces of hamburger into his mouth. 

“But why can’t I be a hobbit? I am small and have big feet!” William protests, while Philip parks the car in front of a flower-shop. He sighs lightly at his brother's re-quest.

“Because we live in Washington DC and Frodo lives in the Auerland, that's why.” He explains amused and opens the door. His brother gets onto the street as well and follows the older one, taking his hand. 

  
“But Grandpa Wash has a big garden. That's big enough to be the Auerland right? Maybe I am a Hobbit after all? Or a dwarf!” He adds and jumps happy up, while Philip holds the door open. He laughs lightly.

“Okay, but what am I then? I am not small enough to be a Hobbit or dwarf right?” He asks and William looks already around the flower shop. It's a small and dark one. “You can be Gandalf!”

Philip laughs loving and looks around the shop. William grabs already the red roses, a huge bouquet that fill his whole arms.

“Can we get those for mommy?” He pleads and Philip shruggs. “Sure, she will be happy about them.”

He takes a bouquet of sunflowers and pays for both, William smiling brightly and showing the empty space between his front teeth off. He wears the hair like Philip, in a half bun, and has the same Jacket of jeans and the flanell, with worn-out sneakers. It's really sweet, how he tries to copy his older brother in everything. Earlier, Philip thought it's annoying, but he doesn't mind anymore.

He tries to imitate him for nearly a year now. Everyone thinks it's super cute, and they are right.

They walk back to the car.

“Who are the others for?” William asks curiously and climbs into the car again. He holds still the roses and wrinkles his small nose, feeling that it tickles. “You don’t know her. For a girl.”    
“What a girl? Can I meet her?” Will asks and bounces around in his seat. He leans forward and starts the radio.

“No, probably not. It’s… complicated. Maybe one day.” Philip answers and starts the car again to drive finally home. They just got out of school and he picked his brother up. He only drives every morning with the car, to get a coffee. He switches between an independent store and Starbucks, depending on his mood.

“Uh…” William grins from ear to ear. “Is she a special girl?” He asks, nearly a bit mocking. Philip chuckles at his tone. “Yeah, really special.” He says teasing and tickles his side with a free hand. William bursts out laughing.

“Philip has a wife!” He makes kiss-noises and Philip giggles even more about the goofball next to him. 

“She’s not my wife yet. I'll bring you chocolate tonight if you don’t tell mom and dad.” He says and William huffs a bit, but then nods enthusiastically. “Okay!” 

The day is short. Philip learns in his book and then prepares his poem for the night, before he already has to go. Eliza was smiling widely over the flowers and put them into a vase on the kitchen table. 

Philip wears his grey beanie and has the Ravenclaw-scarf pulled over his nose and lips. He is freezing, like every winter. He does not mind the heat in summer, but the cold in winter. He hates it. It became really cold in the last week. He is sure it will soon start snowing, and can’t wait for Thanksgiving at Grandpa Schuylers house and for Christmas at Grandpa Washingtons, who always celebrates a huge christmas party.

Not that Alexander knows that all his children call the General and ex-president this. If he knew, he wouldn’t like it. So it's better to keep the peace. 

He stays nervous in front of Aaron Burrs house and fiddles around with his hands. He even thinks about knocking on the door, but what if the Senator opened the door? That would be awful, so he stays on the sidewalk and wonders if Theodosia forgot him.

The door finally opens and she comes outside. Philips feels his heart skip a beat, when she stops in front of him und looks up at his face.

She wears simple jeans and a hoodie, but it suits her well, and she has the curly hair pulled into two buns on the top of her head. He smiles warmly, hoping his face doesn't light up like a candle.Even if it does, his cheeks are covered. 

“Hey!” She says enthusiastically and he feels his cheeks turn even hotter. How can someone be so cute? “Hey Theodosia.” He says, voice cracking softly. It’s probably the cold, he tells himself and holds the bouquet of sunflowers out.

“The flowers, like I promised.” He says with a wink and Theodosia looks at them stunned. Philips fingers shake. “You really got me those? Uhm… thanks.” She says unsure and takes them from Philip. Their hands touch for a moment and she looks fast to the ground. Philip keeps his eyes on her face.

“Of course, no problem. Will wanted to get some flowers for mom anyway, it was on the way.” He says and stays awkward on the sidewalk for another moment, before opening the car door for her to get inside.

Theodosia looks up at the noise and gets inside. “It’s still very thoughtful of you. I love sunflowers.” She says and Philip slides into the driver's seat with a grin on his lips. He pulls the scarf down again and his face is reddened and blushed, the lips pink against the freckled skin.

“I wasn’t sure what kind you like. But they are my favourites, so I thought I would go for it.” Philip says absent and fiddles fast on the radio to stop the screeching mixtape from giving him a headache. When did he even buy a metal-mixtape? Theodosia raises a brow in amusement.

“You surprise me. Poetry, Gardener and you have favourite flowers.” She says with a small giggle and Philip bites the inside of his cheek embarrassed. He looks down and starts the car, his fingers finally stop shaking. 

“Yeah right…” He murmurs, feeling a strange kind of disappointment. He shouldn’t have said that, he thinks. It’s strange, and he should not be strange in any way. He should be normal. But she is right. What kind of weirdo has a favourite flower? He sounds like a 5-year-old. 

“But I like them. Yellow is my favourite colour.” She explains and Philip raises a brow.

“Yellow?” He asks. The first thing coming to his mind, when he hears the word yellow, is piss, pollen and this ugly raincoat Georgie wore in IT by Stephen King.

He glances lightly at her and looks down at the yellow shoes and the flowers. Yellow hu? Actually not that bad. The sun is yellow. 

He grins lightly.

“What is yours?” Theo asks, but then bursts out. “Let me guess… BLUE!” 

Philip feels his heart nearly  _ melt. _ At this point, he considers crashing his head against the steering wheel until this feeling stops, but no way. Instead he holds tighter onto the wheel and nods a bit.

“Yeah, I fucking love blue. I could basically live in blue.” He says.  _ At least now. Five minutes ago I had no favourite colour. _

Theodosia giggles. “I knew it! Blue is great as well. Like your scarfe.” She says and Philip bites his lower lip.

How the hell is he supposed to survive this evening?


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I got a used laptop, a lot earlier then I thought I would. Good for me, because I'd go up the walls if I wasn't able to write.   
> Thanks to my great RP-Partner for reading this chapter beta,   
> and also: in this chapter is a text mentioned, and since Iam really into poetry slams again (waiting for Rudy Franciscos new book) I took his text. I linked him at the end of the chapter, just in case anyone wants to support a poet of colour or is interested.

Chapter 7

I'm learning, the difference between a garden and a graveard 

is only what you choose to put into the ground.

// Rudy Francisco//

Theodosia thought that Avenues like this only exist in films. To be fair, her father only owns soap operas and maybe one bootleg, so she only watches good films with Frances.

A pair of stairs go down into some kind of basement. Everything is covered in stickers or drawings of markers. It’s still cold, and everywhere there are teenagers around. And it’s worse than the Party at Georges, because those people seem to be sober.

She clings to Philips arm unsure and he leads the way through the peers, slowly but dominant. He knows where he wants to go and the people step aside for them. Not in a scared, but polite way. 

When they step over the threshold into the big room, it's like a wall of heat hits them. At least it isn’t freezing anymore.

“Are you okay?” Philip asks. Theodosia jerks surprised and looks at him. “Yeah, Why?”

“Because I don’t feel my fingers anymore.” He answers. Theodosia lets go of his hands and he shakes it a bit in the air, to get blood back into them. 

“Sorry…” Theodosia murmurs, and they sit down on some scrappy couch. She looks curious around the room. There are heaters on every wall, a small kind of stage is made out of several wooden boxes. It looks unusual cosy, like a minispace.

She screeches surprised, when a girl falls between her and Philip onto the couch. “Pip! Quick, hide me from my ex.” She says whiny. 

Theodosia looks surprised and recognizes that it is Susan, just in black jeans and flannel this time. She looks younger, without the heavy make up. 

Philip pushes her from the couch with a small grin. “Go and deal with that yourself. Where is Georgie?” 

Susan huffs and jumps to her feet. In Sweet voice she answers: “Go and figure it out yourself, you prick.”

Philip snorts and watches her strut away. Theodosia bites her lip to hold back a giggle. Philip looks over at her and sees it, but grins. “See? She lights up my life with her existence.” He jokes. “She is worse than me.” He adds.

Theodosia raises one of her brows. “Well, I warmed up to you, didn’t I? Maybe I should become friends with her, she seems to carry the same sentiments about you that I do.” She teases. Philip makes a dramatic face.

“Oh no, I would never date Susan. She scares me as much as your father.” He mocks and Theo has a hard time to keep her face straight. “As much as him? Lod, you must be serious then.” She says.

Philip snorts amused and Theodosia bites her lower lip, seeing his sweet he gets dimples on his freckled cheeks. He opens his mouth to say something, when the first guy steps onto the improvised stage.

Theodosia leans interested back and looks up, while Philip sips on his cola. George finally comes to the couch and sits next to him, whispering something Theodosia can’t quite catch. Philip comments it with a groan and they fall silent. 

It’s strange to just listen to this stranger, since it is some really emotional text, but not in a bad way. Just in a new one. Theodosia glances a bit over at Philip, who has furrowed his brows and stares holes into the head of some guy, who stands next to Susan and talks with her.

“I’m back soon.” He whispers and gets up, before Theodosia has any chance to ask him where he is going. Instead George shifts closer and grins unsure.

“Salut Theodosia.” He says and folds the hands on his tights. Theodosia raises a brow. “Hey George. What is he doing?” She asks.

George raises a brow and looks over at Philip, who has stepped between the stranger and Susan. He talks with her, before they turn around to the stranger again.

“Pip?” He asks and is silent for several seconds. “Hopefuly nothing stupid.”

At this moment a crash like thunder goes up. Theodosia jerks her head around and sees Philip crumbled on the floor. Susan screeches and is all over the stranger, her nails buried in his face.

Theo makes wide eyes, while some people drag the stranger away and up the stairs. She gets automatically up and walks over to Philip, who has pressed a hand against his nose. It’s soaked in blood and he has closed his eyes.

She lays unsure a hand onto his shoulder and his eyes clap open. His lashes are wet but the tears already disappeared from his green-blue eyes. They look intensely up at her. Theodosia sighs. “What the heck?” She asks, still feeling the heart pound in her chest. She takes a deep breath to calm down. Such an idiot!

“I did not even touch him!” He already defenses himself and George pulls him onto his feet. Philip holds onto his friends shoulders and blinks several times, to get rid of the swindle. He wipes the blood away. It isn’t bad, but blood is supposed to stay inside, so it looks gross.

Theodosia feels pretty useless next to them, but Philip seems to be fine. He cleans his face up with a bottle of water, Susan hands him.

“What happened?” Theodosia demands to know. Philip glances over at her. “Eacker. The worst asshole you can find here. He hates me.” He says and sniffles lightly.

She makes a small pout. She already figured that they’re no friends, there is no need for him to talk like this. He shakes his head softly. “Comes with being Hamiltons smartass firstborn. He doesn't have a problem with me, but my family. Really shitty.” Philip mutters bitter and they sit down again. Philip still holds the hands under his nose, but the bleeding stopped.

Theodosia bites her lower lip softly. “You aren’t just Hamiltons smartass firstborn.” She says the obvious.

  
“Yeah? Tell him that.” Philip says, but cackles lightly at the sarcastic comment. Theodosia rolls her eyes and snorts. “You ass! I was worried.” She says and Philip only laughs more, teasing. “You are? Aww, that's so sweet. But don’t worry, I hate violence. Never take the first swing.” He cooes and Theodosia opens her mouth offended, but then giggles.

“That’s it. I’m never going to talk with you again.” She treats and now Philip makes the insulted face. “What? But… but I am so sweet! I promise, I can…” He falls into a silly deep voice. “Talk less, and smile more.”

At his voice, Theodosia bursts out laughing. Such a dork.

“Don’t make fun of my father!” She says, but does not really mean it like this. She just wasn’t aware that he is such a good imitater. “I make fun of everyone! I’m a lot of fun.” He explains and wiggles his brows. Theo rolls her eyes. 

“Pip, come on ami.” George interrupts them and nods at the stage. Philip grins over at Theodosia. “Keep being worried about me, I’ll be back.” He says with a wink and Theodosia feels her cheeks grow hot at this.

She can’t make a smart retort, because they already climbed onto the stage and both fiddle the papers out of their jeans pockets. Theodosia furrows her brows, just now recognizing that they move the nearly same way. Lazy, but still energetic.

George gives Philip a short look, as if a silent conversation is going on between them, before he begins to speak out.

“An artist from Mexico city, convinced his government to donate the confiscated guns to him, to make musical instruments out of them.” He starts, slowly and with a soft voice. Philips falls into his word and continues, before George seems to interrupt him again and continues the text. They nearly seem to be the same person, how they play the words back and forth between them.

Theodosia figures it’s hard to follow, but keeps understanding the pieces of the text. 

Theodosia furrows her brows and feels goosebumps run over her arms and back. She swallows thickly and feels like the whole room fell silent, at the point Philip asked: “I wonder how long it took to convince the first rifle that it can hold a note instead of a bullet.” 

Her stomach sinks.

They look both into the distance, and Theodosia starts to get why he isn’t going around school and tells everyone about his hobby. It’s honest and surely not something that gets into his image as a player. 

When they come back, she hesitates for a moment. George excuses himself to get drinks and Theodosia looks up at Philip, who pucks nervous on his curls. “That was… great.” She says and hugs him with an encouraging smile. 

Philip hugs her surprised back. “You think?” He asks surprised, hands on her waist. She stops pressing their bodies together, but keeps her arms looped around his neck. She nods. “Yeah, that was really… touching.” She says, after searching for the right word.

He feels her warm breath on his face and goes stiff, but doesn’t move. Instead he looks her in the eyes.

“Well… it was Georgies idea but… thank you. It means a lot to me.” He says frank and feels the warmth of her skin in his palms, that still rest on her sides. Theodosia presses her lips unsure together, recognizing how close they stand to each other. She can’t make herself step away and just keeps looking up at him awkwardly.

Philip furrows his brows unsure and leans a bit down, just to be in reach for her. Theodosia has opened her lips a small split and feels her face heat totally up. If her head would work, it would probably tell her to slap him and go angry away, but her thoughts are one big mix of feelings. So instead, she steps onto her tiptoes and softly connects their lips.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Rudy Francisco: https://youtu.be/cegR3f9Llak


	8. Chapter 8

_ Chapter 8 _

_ If you liked being a teenager,  _

_ there's something really wrong with you _

_ // Stephen King// _

The light still burns behind the window. Theodosia presses her lips together, that still tingle while the rest of her face is frozen from the cold.

She walked the whole way home, after Philip just stood there for several seconds and gawked at her like an idiot. And Theodosia feels like one.

What did she think?! She scolds herself and goes to the door, unlocking it. The Clock over the door shows that she is too late. She was supposed to be at home two hours ago, and her phone is still in Philips car, where she forgot it. Instead she holds the bouquet of sunflowers in her hands and tries to sneak up the stairs, before her father recognizes her. But she freezes in the doorway, as he says her name.

  
“Theodosia Burr junior…” He says in his grave-voice. She whines and turns towards him. “Yes papa?” She asks.

Aaron sits on the table, a steaming cup of black tea in front of him and the tie hanging loosely around his neck. He looks worn out, folds the arms in front of his chest.

“Do you have any idea how late it is?” He continues. Theodosia fiddles nervous around with the hands behind her back, in an attempt to hide the flowers.

She should’ve dumped them into the trash can.

When she doesn’t answer, Aaron gets up from his chair. “Two in the morning! You better have a good explanation for this! I was worried to death!”

She looks down at the carpet on the floor. “I am sorry… I forgot my mobile and then the car broke down and I had to walk home alone.” She murmurs and is surprised at how fast she learned how to lie to her father. A few weeks ago she would’ve never done this.

Aaron sighs and just hugs her. “It’s okay… just never scare me like this again okay?” He requests.

Theodosia shifts uncomfortable when Aaron lets go of her. He raises a brow. “So… how was it?” He asks, a bit calmer.

Aaron was never good at being angry at her. Theodosia can’t even think of a time they really argued.

She feels the guilt come up again. She really has to stop lying, after all she is honest and trusts her father, right?

“The poets were great. Some were really touching. Just the end was… strange.” She murmurs, as they sit down on the table again. Aaron serves her a cup of fruity-tea. “What was strange?” He asks.

She takes a deep breath and lays the bouquet onto the table, buries her head in her palm. “There was… this boy. I mean…” She starts to stumble over the sentences, while Aarons eyes pendle from the table to her face and back.

  
“He got me these. And he was really sweet and I like him and he kissed me, but he is a player and I don’t want to be one of the girls he plays a game with!” She bursts finally out and looks embarrassed down. At least it is honest.

Aaron stays frozen in his seat, having his lips parted a bit, while Dosia looks bitter down at the wooden plate. “You… you met a boy?” He asks, not quite processing it.

After his dear Theodosia died he read every single book about single-parenting he could find. Everything that looked helpful. And he has a good relationship with his daughter, but he feels like someone knocked him off his pedestal.

They look uncomfortable at each other, while Theodosia slowly nods. “Yes. A boy.”

Aaron stares for another ten seconds, before finally clearing his throat. He has no idea what to say, but he has to say something, because this gets worse with every silent moment.

“But… Frances was with you, right?” He asks again.

Theodosias mind screams: Liar, but she nods anyway. “Yes she was.”

_ Your mother would be calmer about this,  _ Theo thinks and feels bad for even thinking it. Her father tries his best, more then every other father she ever saw.

“And you… want it to be serious?” He adds. Theodosia isn’t sure about this at all, but nods again.

“Then wait. Either he stops being a player and does a move, or…” Aaron straightens up a bit. “My gun is in the second drawer of my desk.” 

Theodosia snorts at his idea. “Thanks papa, I will remember it.” She says and finally takes the tea into her hands. The wams burns into her palms, but it’s a good feeling.

“Finish it and then go to sleep okay?” He says and gets up. He grabs the flowers and puts them into a vase.

“Yes Papa. Uhm… I go with Frances to the cinema tomorrow, you remember?” She reminds him and Aaron nods.

“Frances, or Frances and your… boy?” He asks uncomfortably and makes water into the vase as well. He lets them stand on the windowsill for Theodosia to take with her upstairs. She shakes her head.

“No. With Frances and a friend of hers. They want both to see the X-Men.” She explains and gulps the tea down. She tells Aaron goodnight and then goes upstairs, puts the flowers onto her desk and falls into her bed, still feeling like crap.

It’s like the blossoms on the plate laugh at her. She wonders if Philip planned that. Isn’t it like he gets every other girl? And what if he means it? Then she is the bitch in this situation. But she don’t owes him anything!

She pulls the blanket over her and buries her face in the pillow, the dramatic pose she falls into whenever she feels overwhelmed like this. It’s shit. This whole evening was shit!


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Finally! After several weeks of laying depressed on my couch and looking at adhd-memes I found the motivation to type this chapter.  
> I hope you all had great holidays and enjoyed the time with your family. If not, hey you're not alone and it gets better.
> 
> Enjoy the chapter folks!

Chapter 9

We never realize how frozen we are until someone starts to melt our ice

// Bridgett Devoue //

The day afterwards feels like hell. Philip fell asleep on Georges couch, Susan and Angie in the guestroom, down the corridor. Normally they all would’ve slept in the same room, but Monsieur Lafayette has the rule that boys and girls don’t sleep in the same room. 

While George snorted on the bed, Philip wrote into his notebook. He wrote and wrote and wrote, until his hand hurt and he took his phone out just to keep writing.

His head was still spinning and he just couldn’t fall asleep. He just stayed awake and then went downstairs when he heard Mister Lafayette having his morning coffee.

He just couldn’t get Theodosia out of his head. How they stared at each other for some seconds, before she turned around on her heels and ran out. And his lips still tingle, like ants crawl over his skin there.

“Get your ass up.” Susan says, marching into the kitchen. 

Philip sits alone at the counter and stares tired out of the window into the grey sky. The weather is pissy. 

He slowly glances over at Susan, who jumps next to him onto a chair and strokes red curls from her face. “Georgie wants us to go into the cinema with him and some friends. Angie is getting ready.”

He always wondered how Susan can be this fit, not five minutes after she woke up. He needs hours for his body to acknowledge that he isn’t asleep anymore.

“I can’t. Learning.” Philip grunts as Susan serves herself coffee and puts four sugarcubes into her mug. The bright smile doesn't leave her lips for a single moment. The red lipstick has left marks on her lips, since she didn’t wash it up yesterday.

  
“Nop. You look frustrated since your date dumped you, no way we leave you alone to learn for some exam that probably isn’t even important.” She deadpans and sips her drink. “Also, we need you to cover. Your parents won’t believe that Angie goes alone with George into the theater. For me?” She asks sweetly and looks at him through her long lashes.

Susan is sweet. Her eyes are nearly black holes, the brown is super dark, and her lashes are long. She has full lips, curves and her hair is dyed red since a year now. Before it was blue, but it looked awful on her.

If Philip met her later, he would’ve probably tried to flirt with her. Good thing he didn’t, because his parents still don’t want him to hang around her.

“Not for you, but my sister.” He says teasing and Susan throws her head back to laugh. She picks on her flannel and gets up again, mug still in hand. “I do my make-up. Take a shower, you stink, and tell Georgie to hurry. I want Slush before we get there.” She orders, bossy as always. Philip scoffs.

Philip doesn’t mind. He knows how Susan is, and they tease each other all the time. “The make-up won’t help, darling.” He says and Susan gives him the middle-finger, before disappearing upstairs again.

He looks around, alone again. He can probably nap in the cinema, he thinks and gets up to take a shower. Susan isn’t wrong, he smells bad. Some people smoked inside the avenue yesterday, and he always sweats before speaking in front of people. He always gets so nervous.

The Lafayettes have a huge bathroom with a big shower. Philip enjoys it and takes his time, taking Georges shampoo and soap that smells like coconut. His skin is lighter, but both boys have wild curls and need to take care of them. He doesn’t mind the exotic smell either.

It always reminds him of the one time his father took him to Nevis. The orphanage worked with another one on the island Alexander was born on, so they went for a visit. But that was long ago, when he was still a child.

Pip feels a lot better after his shower. Half an hour later they sit in his dented car and drive towards the old cinema. There are more modern ones in DC, but it costs 2 Dollars less in this one, and Philip likes the vintage-touch. It was first opened in the 50s, and looks old. It’s cosy.

“Yo Pip, I didn’t knew you liked pink phone-cases.” George teases. He sits in the passenger's-seat and waves a small pink phone around. Philip raises a brow. “That’s not mine.”

“Probably one of your girls.” Susan says with a shrug and continues telling her story about the mean Lady she met at Target. Philip acts like he listens, but actually glances at the phone again. Damn, that’s Theodosias.

“Do you at least remember the name?” Angie whispers. She sits behind her brother and has leant forward to whisper it at him. He shrugs. “Think it was Theodosias.” He murmurs. Angie grins.

“Ah right, the Burr girl.” Angie says with a small grin. Susan interrupts her own speech. “Like Aaon Burr? Wow Pip, when did you become such a rebel? I thought you’re daddys golden boy?”

“Shut it Reynolds.” Philip says and George shifts uncomfortable around in his seat. “It’s none of his business alright? And another thing, I cover for you, so you are the last one to say anything.” Philip snaps a bit mean, but Susan only laughs and opens the door when he parks the car.

“Whatever you say Romeo.”

Philip only rolls his eyes and gets out as well, while George chuckles amused. “You act like siblings,” he says and the other three make disgusted faces. Alone the idea that they could be relatives is gross. 

"I was already born during the Reynolds-Affair, sweetheart." Susan says and clings her arm under Angelicas as they walk towards the theatre.

"Yeah thank God. Not another sibling, please!" Philip says in a whiny voice. Susan laughs again. 

She laughs a lot, that's what Philip likes about her. She laughs loud, always throws her head back and lets the locks frame her face.

"I wouldn't bet my ass on that. How old is your youngest?" Susan asks casual. "A few months." Angelica answers and looks up at Georgie.

He takes large steps forwards and hugs Frances. 

"Salut Frances!" He says and kisses her cheeks. Philip buries the hands in his pockets as he sees Theodosia, who avoids his face. 

He sighs and elbows Susan. "Slush?" He asks. She shruggs and lets go of Angelica. "Always. I want cherry alright?" She says and Angie only nods absent.

"Wait!" Theodosia says and they look silently at her. She tries not to groan. "My phone, Hamilton?"

Frances raises confused a brow but keeps quiet. Philip nods. "In my car." He says simply and then hesitates. Susan buries the hands in her cost as Philip grabs some money from his jeans and holds it out for her. Susan clenches her jaw.

"Slush is onto me." He says and they stay a moment frpzen.

She don't likes it when Philip or Angie lr George pay for her, but on the other hand… she can really use the money. She swallows her pride and snaps the money from his hands.

"Next time I pay." She says and they both know it's not true. 

"Alright, if you want to." 

He turns around and walks back towards his car, followed by Theodosia. 

She knows that Frances will ask questions later. Questions she really don't wants to answer, but she really needs her mobile back.

Philip opens the car and leans inside to grab the pink phone. "Listen…" he starts, but she snaps the phone from his hands. He huffs lightly.

"I am sorry okay? I thought you wanted to kiss me. It was stupid alright?" He asks, now also slightly pissed. 

Theodosia folds her arms and clenches her jaw. She  _ did.  _ But on the other hand she knows she shouldn't.

"I… did but it's stupid! I don't want to be one of the girls you play any games with okay?

You are a player and had what feels like a dozen girlfriends. I didn't and I don't want you to just think you can take me to some nice avenue and kiss me!" She says frustrated and Philip leans unsure against the car.

He bounces his leg nervous. "I don't want to use you. I like you."

Theodosia tries to ignore the warm feeling in her tummy at those words and gives in with a sigh. "Can we just… act like this didn't happen?" She asks and Philip clicks his tongue. 

"Friends?" He asks and holds his hand out. He wears grey gloves with white tips. She nods. "Yes, that would be great." 


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Since I was already at it, I also wrote the next chapter right away. I might need some energy drinks, but think I am doing fine on coffee for now.  
> Maybe I'll try another chapter now as well, but I don't promise anything I can't hold.
> 
> And I would be really thankful for a review or two.

Chapter 10

The duty of youth is to challenge authority

//Kurt Cobain//

“I just don’t get why you don’t let him buy you a car. You could have some really cool mercedes and instead you settle for a dented Ford?” Theodosia asks. The whole group sits squashed on a bench in a Diner. Angelica already had to go, for her violin-classes.

Philip groans lightly and rubs his temple. Susan comes to his help. “Because he doesn't want to be Hamiltons Smartass Firstborn.”

Theodosia looks confused at Philip who nods. “Exactly. If I let him buy me everything the people think I am spoiled, or that I get my good grades and everything because dad bought it for me. But I am not just some legacy.” He explains.

Frances and Theodosia exchange a baffled look, while Philip puts lazily a fry into his mouth.

“I thought you’re so proud of being a Hamilton?” Theodosia asks. George grabs over the table for Sussans cola.

“Or course I am, but it’s not my complete character. It’s like saying Georgie will become a General because his father and Washington are.” Philip says.

Theodosia thinks that is quite interesting. If her father would suggest buying her a car she would definitely take it. “You interpret a lot hu?” Frances asks.Philip only shrugs.

At this point he is very aware that Frances don’t like him, but he can’t make himself care about it.

“We’re not our parents. The duty of youth is to challenge authority.” Susan says when the silence seems to continue. George raises a brow.

“Who said that?”

“Kurt Cobain.” Philip says and gulps the rest of his cola down. “And Pip? Was he right, golden boy?” Susan asks, nearly a bit teasing.

Philip takes a deep breath and gives her a long look. They discussed this a lot lately. He hates to disappoint his parents. Maybe because he has so many siblings, because they are always fighting for more attention from their parents, but he tries hard to be the best son.

  
“I think challenging authority is a good thing, to prevent us from becoming exactly like our parents. But some teens can’t just make themselves break their parents hearts by being their true self. Because it might break their whole family and also ruin their own lifes further. They might always life in guilt of destroying the lives of their parents and siblings, knowing they couldn’t life up to what was trusted onto them.”

They look silently at him, until George clicks his tongue in approval. He doesn't say anything, knowing it’s not his place to interrupt, but Susan never had those soft spots. She searches for black holes on the souls and tries to fill those places.

“Your parents life isn’t your fault.” She says. Theodosia shifts uncomfortable in her chair. She feels the tense air and something tells her that Philip wouldn’t tolerate this questions from anyone else.

“But I can try not to ruin it any further.” He says and George finishes the fries. “Well, it’s easier for me. I can just give your father the fault.” Susan says and with one blow, the tense air is gone.

Philip snickers amused and Theodosia exhales. She didn’t even realize that she held her breath, but she couldn’t stop staring at Philip. An intense look was in his blue-grey eyes, as if he showed a part of himself she hadn’t seen before.

“Monsieur Hamilton is not Satan, mon amie.” Georgie says and Philip holds a fry under his nose, just like a mustache. He looks at Theodosia and makes a face.

“Burr!” He says and she freezes, turns around. But nobody stands there. The others giggle. “Did you just…”

“Dad taught me how to imitate Washingtons and Jeffersons voices.” Philip says with a shiteating grin. Theodosia huffs and throws a fry at him.

Philip makes an offended face. “I am too grown for a foodfight.”

“I am not.” George says next to him. Before Philip can say anything, George has pushed his jogurt into his face.

Theodosia looks shocked at his white face, but then he licks over his lip. His face is covered in whipped cream.

“You French Fucker!” Philip screeches and pushes the rest of Frances water over Georges head. He wines as the water drops down his black curls.

Susan snickers. It’s a good thing that only leftovers are left on the table, but they get kicked out of the Diner anyway.

Georgie talks with Frances and Susan has to go home, so Philip falls back with Theodosia, still white cream in his hair. “I can’t believe you are so immature.” She scolds.

“Hey, you started the foodfight. You become a little rebel, since you sneaked to that party.” Philip answers amused and opens the car.

Frances and George shift onto the backbench and Philip drives. Theodosia sits shotgun.

“I am not. I am still a really nice and well behaved girl. No challenging authority in my house!”

“Not at all? Damn, so you don’t want to hang out with the son of your fathers enemy?”

“Mh.. depends, is hot chocolate involved?” Theo asks teasing. Philip shrugs. “Chocolate makes everything better. Is that a yes?” 

Theodosia smirks. After everything that happened today (and also yesterday evening) this sounds too good. She feels her skin tickle and nods. “Okay. My dad is gone on the weekend. You can come over, but bring chocolate along.”

“Promise.” Philip says and parks the car in front of the Laurens house. Frances and George get out. “Good. I will be angry if you don’t.” Theodosia says teasing and Philip smirks. “I know. I won’t forget it.” He says and Theodosia gets out of the car as well. “Great. Boy Philip!” She says and then is gone.

He starts the radio again and nearly groans when Kurt Cobain sings. He lets the song play anyway, because it is better then silence.

Susans words still cling in his head, the whole way home.

There is still light burning in the livingroom as he enters. Eliza and Alexander sit both on the table, the way parents to when they wait for their child to come home. Alexander gets up and looks serious. “Philip, good that you are home. Sit down.”

At this words he already wants to run.  _ Thats it _ , he thinks,  _ they are breaking up or something _ . 

He sits slowly down in the wooden chair and looks asking at Eliza. She just smiles encouraging.

“Son, I got a call from your teacher today.” Alexander starts. Philip prays that this isn’t about the detention he got in the first few school weeks and never told his parents about. But there isn’t any anger in his words. His father even smiles slightly.

  
“She told me that your grades are good enough to skip a whole grade, if you would like that.” Alexander says. Philip feels a wave of tiredness wash over him.

“You could go to college with George if you wanted that.” Eliza explains calmly and tries to take Philips hands, but he instantly pulls them away and into his lap.

“And just imagine how good it would look on your papers. You could study wherever you wanted to. Law at King's College, you could get into Harverd if you wanted to.” Alexander continues his speech.

Philip knows that he might not really have a choice. Law. He hates alone the idea of studying law, but his father never asked him anyway. He said only once that he wouldn’t study law or politics and Alexander basicly said: “As long as I am paying for your studies you will.”

It’s draining.

“And where would I go to school then?” Philip asks. 

Un, Deux, Trois, Quarte. Cinq. Sept. Huit. Neuf. Dice.

“We would get you a teacher and homeschool you. But you could also learn with Lafayette, since he is that too.” Alexander says. He tries to read something from Philips face.

“It’s late.Can I give you an answer later?” Philip asks and looks at his hands. He picks on his nails and Eliza nods with an assuring smile. “Of course you can.” 

“I tell her you said yes. If you change your mind you can just go back to your normal classes.” Alexander simply says and leaves. With this the chat is over and Philip gets up as well.

“Are you alright, Philip?” Eliza asks him worried. “Yes, I am fine. Good night momma.”

He goes upstairs and crashes onto his bed, head buzzing. “Fuck fuck fuck…” he mutters under his breath and presses the face into his pillow.

“Fucking law… challenge authority my ass.” He gets up, feeling like his brain might explode in the next moment.

He gets up and opens a window to let cold nightair flood the attic.

His life feels like a load of crap.


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I didn't upload this yesterday because I watches news and tried to follow this shit going down in the Capitol. Y'all better know that those assholes have to be stopped.  
> But whatever, here's the next chapter.

Chapter 11

Love is heavy and light, bright and dark,

hot and cold, sick and healthy, asleep and

awake- its everything except what it is!

//Shakespeare//

Theodosia stands nervous at the window and watches her father get into his silver car, putting the briefcase with papers next to him. He is on his way to some Congress meeting and Theodosia waits for Philip to come over.

She can hear her heartbeat, partly because this time her father is actually in the city and inviting a Hamilton into their house will definitely not be good for their relationship. But she said she’ll be friends with him, and there isn’t really a big chance her dad might walk in while he is still there. Those meetings end normally just in the early morning.

Philips car parks in the spot Aarons car stood earlier. Theodosia presses her lips together to a grin and goes to open the door, while Philip comes inside with a bag in his hand. He shows it off with a proud expression. “Chocolate, like I promised.”

Theo takes the bag and lets him inside, where Philip pulls off his brown boots. “Is your dad gone?”

“Yeah, some meeting. I don’t think he’ll be back before tonight.” Theodosia says. Philip gets out of his coat and hangs it next to Theodosias. They stand awkward there for some moments.

  
“So.. chocolate and what else?” Philip asks. Theodosia bites her lip unsure. “Uhm… we can go to my room.” She suggests. They go upstairs into her room and Philip looks curious around like a puppy in a new home.

Fairylights hang from the ceiling, her bed is tall but not wide and there are photos on the wall, of family friends. “I like your room. Looks cosy.”

“Thank you.” Theodosia says and Philip looks at the family pictures. Theodosia sits down on her bed and watches his back.

  
“You and Frances are pretty close hu?” He asks. Theodosia opens the bag to get some Mars and Twixx out to eat. “She is my only friend.”

“Not anymore.” Philip answers. He seems a bit off today, she recognizes. “Are you okay? You are strange.”

Philip shakes his head a bit. “My father is annoying me, thats all.”

Theodosia hesitates. She somehow thought that Philip has the perfect life, in every aspect. Especially with his family. Isn’t he the pride of them all?

“I thought you get along great?”

“We do! He just… I feel like he wants to make me into a mini version of himself. He makes me study law! Do you have any idea how boring it is to study law?”

Theodosia blinks before grinning at him. “Oh, you don’t think you would look good in a suit and without hair at 25?” She teases.

Philip scoffs and relaxes, leaning against her desk. “Nah, I would get grey hair. Maybe I should just tattoo my face, then I can’t study it anyway.” 

She gets up and grabs the marker next to him, to draw a little heart onto his cheekbone. Philip closes his eyes and the light shows how long his blonde lashes are really. They get really light, hardly to see.

Theodosia cocks her head and looks at his freckles. His eyes snap open again. “Finished?” He asks and she nods fast, taking a step back to not be so close anymore to him.

His eyes fly to the side, where a framed photo stands. He beams at her. “You got a piano?” He asks, pointing at one of the photos with Theo and her parents, sitting on the white grand-piano of Theodosia Sr.

She feels a pain in her chest but nods. That was a few days before they found out she got cancer, when Theodosia was still really small. Just six years old and with a bright grin on her face.

“My mother and father played, but I never learned it.” She says and raises a brow. He nearly beams at her words. “You play hu?”

“Please let me teach you some songs... “ He pleads and Theodosia snickers at his whiny voice, before nodding excitedly. “Okay yeah, come on.” 

She grabs his hand to drag him downstairs again.

The piano is in a warm room in the basement, covered in grey carpets on the walls and a big photo of Theodosia Sr above the Piano. Aaron put those photos into every room of the house, like those Jesus-Pictures. But on this one she stands alone and looks serious down at the piano.

“My mom taught me, I think I am pretty talented, you know.” Philip says smug and Theodosia opens the keys for him.

“I thought you’re a daddy’s boy?” Theo mocks, while Philip starts to play a melody. “Oh, I am. But my father isn’t a musician at all.”

“Mh… me too. I mean, a daddy's girl.” She says and sits down next to him, watching his hands play up and down the scales.

“Which song do you want to learn?” Philip asks and stops his sewny fingers for a moment. Theodosia shrugs. “Something easy?”

Philip takes her hand to lay them above his. “Watch this.” He says and starts to play. The warmth of his skin feels good under her palms, and she watches his fingers type in the melody of Hey Jude.

Maybe she would’ve learned how to play, but her mother was often feeling sick. Aaron said not to disturb her, so she didn’t play and the days became fewer, on which Theodosia Sr played herself.

After her death, Aaron stopped playing. It was something that connected the two. Music, playing and laughing during it.

Theodosia sniffles and her view becomes blurry. Philips' fingers stop and he looks over at her. “Theodosia?” He asks and takes her hands into his. His palms are soft.

He moves one of them to wipe her tears away, but Theodosia just sinks into his arms and a sob falls over her lips.

Philip lays his arms around her and holds her close. “I miss her…” She whimpers and Philip rubs her back softly. Theodosia buries the face in his shoulder and breathes his scent in, sweet and herb.

“Your mother?” He asks confused and glances up at the picture of the old Theodosia. Her head feels light and totally messy. “She died…” Theodosia sniffs. “I miss her so much Philip.” She whines and he holds her in shock, a bit closer.

“I am sorry. I didn’t know that Dosia…” He breathes and strokes her curls gentle.

Theodosia pulls slightly away to look up at his face, guilt in his normally bright and intelligent eyes. He still has his warm arms around her and Theodosia isn’t even sure who does the first step, but their lips crash together.


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for the nice reviews. I am really in a flow right now and basicly write all day (mostly on a own book in German) but also try to get this chapters here done.  
> I hope you enjoy it.

Chapter 12

_ Their gazes and words are heavy _

_ With all the things they want you to be _

_ //Elizabeth Acevedo// _

It feels like Philip is in a daze. Underwater. Definitely not in Theodosias room.

She lays on his chest, both wrapped into their hoodies and her blanket. They sat for a while in the basement and just kissed, until Theodosia suggested to get upstairs again. They just continued making out on the bed, sloppy until Theodosia snuggled onto his chest and fell asleep.

Philip has his hand buried in her hair and stroked the curls softly.

“I think I’m falling in love with you.” Philip murmurs unsure, more to himself. Theodosia slowly lifts her head and looks at him with tired eyes.

She isn’t sure if he means it, but the words send a warm showder trough her whole body. She scoops upwards to kiss him again, hand on his shoulder. 

“And what does that… mean for us?” She asks unsure and rolls to the side to lay next to him on the bed instead.

“I don’t know, I never was in love. I mean… a few days ago I didn’t even like you.”

Theodosia snorts and nods. “Me neither, you are surprisingly not a dick.”

Philip scoffs and folds the hands on his chest. “But you had girlfriends,” she replies.

“That I did.” He says and glances over at her with his intelligent and clear eyes. Theodosia presses her lips together, in an attempt to stop the blood from rushing into her cheeks.

“Don’t you dare to only say that to break my heart later!” She claims. Philip shakes his head softly and looks back at the fairylights. “I’m not. I… I don’t even know what I want. So I never settled for any girl. Do you know what I mean?”

“No I don’t. But you are aware that you and me- is the absolutely worst idea ever. I don’t want to fight with my father or Frances.” Theodosia explains with a serious face. She sits up and crosses her legs, so she looks down at Philip now, who puts one arm under his head as a pillow.

“Neither do I. I hate fighting my dad. He does what he wants anyway. This shit sucks.” He lets his eyes fall shut and presses his lips together. “So you want me to stay away?”

Theodosia stays silent for a few seconds, before she leans down to connect their lips again in a sweet kiss, totally tongue and teeth and Philip leans his body softly into it, his hands on her hips.

When she slowly pulls back Philip has his eyes still closed and only opens them fluttering. “I don’t think I could stay away if I tried. What do you want to do now?”

Philip exhales softy and sits a bit up, leaning on his arms. “I want to be your boyfriend.”

He sounds sure and Theodosia takes a deep breath, before nodding finally. “If you only say that because-”

“I do not.” He interrupts her directly. Theodosia huffs and nods. “Alright. Okay… and- can we wait with telling our parents? Please?” She nearly whispers. Philip nods, obviously not sad about it. “Thats good with me. I might die when I tell him anyway.”

She feels tense and slowly sinks back into his arms. “Oh, you would risk getting beheaded, just for li’l old me?” She teases and Philip scoffs amused, holding her closer and kissing her cheek. “Yep.” 

Theodosia cuddles onto his side again and buries her face on his rips. She is nearly falling asleep again, when Philips phone goes up. He groans and grabs it, sitting up again. “What?” He asks, a bit pissed.

“Don’t snap at me like that.” Alexander says and Philip nearly falls out of the bed. Theodosia raises a confused brow and watches him. “Sorry pops.”

“Philip where the hell are you? I called the Marquis and he said you weren’t even at Georges today!”

Philip swings his legs from the bed. “I.. uhm.” He groans and rubs the bridge of his nose. Fuck it. “I am at Susans. We were writing poetry.”

Theodosia takes his hand softly and squeezes it encouragingly. It’s already dark outside and nearly 12. How could they forget the time just like this?

“Philip Hamilton!” Alexander yells angry and Philip holds the phone a bit away from his ear. He makes a grimace and Theodosia whines. “How many times do I- I told you not to meet her. How many times?”

“It’s none of your business.” Philip brings bitter out, his voice trembling. Alexander huffs on the other side of the line. “It is. You are my son, I am responsible for you and told you not to be with her. What if people see you? She is-” He cuts himself off and rubs the bridge of his nose.

Philip jumps off the bed to grab his boots and get into them. He puts his father onto speaker. “The daughter of your affair, yeah I get it. But like I said, none of your business.”

He still feels drunk from everything that happened today, maybe that's why he gets so bratty. Normally he would just sigh and tell him that he won’t do it again, only to do it again.

“Come home, right now. You are so grounded.” Philip only huffs and ends the call with his free hand. He closes his eyes slightly.

It’s like the whole world is spinning out of control and he stands somewhere in the middle and can’t hold it together anymore.

Theodosia sits still next to him and has her hands fold. She didn’t quite catch that Susan Reynolds is the daughter of The Reynolds, like in The Reynolds Affair. But right now Philip obviously worries about other stuff.

“I uhm- see you in school okay?” He says and gets up from the bed. Theodosia smiles softly. “Okay sure. Are you alright?”

Philip shrugs and looks up at her. “I am now.” 

He leans up to connect their lips, soft and tender. They hardly brush and Theodosia leans surprised in to catch his lips. When they part Philip looks pained at her eyes. “Goodbye.”

With this he leaves, and gets into his car. It’s cold and snow lays already on it.

The drive is calm, but he can’t make himself care about his fathers tantrum. He gets catched by him anyway, already waiting in the hall with his arms folded. He looks like an angry grandmother.

“You are still grounded.” He snaps. Philip only hangs his jacket up. “Okay.”

“Don’t give me the cold shoulder.” Alex says and then sighs. “Listen, I just don’t want you to cause a scandal. Or for your mother to-” He groans lightly as Philip buries the hands in his pockets.

“Yeah I know. I’m sorry…” He grumbles, feeling really guilty. He knows that his mother always gets strange when this comes up. It was a bad time, but Philip will be damned if his fathers affair ruins his friendship.

His face softens. “There are other nice people around here. Or guys. Try to make some friends, will you?”

“Yeah pops.” Philip only says, as Alexander squeezes his shoulder softly and goes away. His son nearly flees upstairs, feeling overwhelmed with everything that happened today.

Angelica sits on his bed, going through a box of stuff. “Hey kid.” Philip says and kicks his shoes off. His sister huffs, hating the nickname. But he calls all his siblings kid, since he can think. “Where have you been?”

“At Susans, didn’t dad tell you?” Philip asks. Angie pouts mocking. “I am pretty sure you weren’t, because I was with her.”

Her brother grins and sits down on the table plate to look her Pajama up and down. Then his body is shaken by giggles. Angie raises a brow. “Oh, you were at Burrs hu?” She asks.

They make a few seconds eye contact and then break out laughing.

Philip can hardly breath. The situation isn’t even that funny, but knowing that they both lie that much about where they are is really a talent. One day they might get catched. How can nobody notice this?

“Damn, they will kill us if they find out.”

“No, they will kill me. You will be off at College and become or a lawyer or something like this.” Angie deadpans and wipes her laughing-tears away. Philip jumps up and falls onto the bed next to her.

“I think I will just not go to College.” Philip says and Angie opens her mouth in disbelief. “Damn it, I am going to become the best Poet of the century. Just you wait Angie.”

“Whatever you say. Now tell me about your date. And I dare you to fuck this up, she’s the first of your girlfriends I actually like. She is your girlfriend right?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I love the quote from the beginning, since it is from one of my favourite books, called Poet X  
> https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/33294200-the-poet-x


	13. Chapter 13

Chapter 13

_ It's weird when you wake up from a bad dream _

_ And everything is still bad _

_ // Todd Strasser // _

December is a haze of sneaking around empty houses and kisses on school floors. Theodosia relaxes a bit into Philips present, who still seems to change the mood in every room he goes into. She gets some jealous looks, from time to time, but most of the time Philip makes sure they don’t get recognized. Maybe he just doesn’t see them, but he always takes Theos hand, wherever they go.

It’s really cute, Theodosia thinks.

Most days they sit in some delly and talk, or Philip reads out his poems, or Theodosia looks at funny memes to show him. Sometimes they just sit on the same bench, Philips arm around Theodosia and they read, or learn in silence. It’s relaxing and the month flies just by.

Theodosia is nervous when she and her father drive up to Mount Vernom. The building is huge and she can’t remember being with her father at such an event for a really long time. Besides, she only met the former President once, while Philip just calls him Grandpa Wash.

She put on a velvet dress and a bit of make up, since it’s really a party and not just some meeting she is supposed to attend, or a family gathering.

The doors stand already open when Aaron parks the car. He glances over at his daughter. “I know you can behave yourself but… there will be politicals, so if someone says something bad to you, you tell me. Okay?” He asks worried.

Theodosia nods enthusiastic. “Of course papa. Can we go in now?”

He laughs softly at her excitement and together they go into the house. There are already a lot of people and Theodosia is taken aback by how polished and rich everything looks. She feels out of place in this area, so she clings to Aarons arm and follows him to greet a couple of people.

Still she looks out for Philip from time to time. 

“Ah Mister Burr! I am so happy you could make it.” A deep voice says. Theodosia has to lay her head back to look at Washington, who shakes brightly Aarons hand. The Senator smiles. “Thanks for the invitation Washington. You remember my daughter, Theodosia?”

Washington smiles and holds his hand out for her to shake as well. Unsure she reaches out for his handshake, which is surprisingly soft and warm. 

“Of course I do. The Lafayette told me a lot about you too.” He says with a small wink. Theodosia feels the heat in her cheeks grow. “It’s an honor to meet you, Sir.” She cracks out.

George and Philip told him about her? Argh, of course they did, the way they always talk about Washington.

Aaron looks confused. “The Marquis?”

“No, his son.” Washington says and Theodosia feels small under his eyes. Her father glances over at her too and raises a brow. She shrugs unsure. “But I am happy you could make it, after not following my invitation in the last years.”

Washington has some small talk with Aaron, giving Theodosia some time to relax before Philip pops up behind them. “Hey Wash. Martha sent me, there is some huge emergency in the kitchen I think.”

Theodosia has to pull herself together to not gawk at him. He wears a white shirt and a black waistcoat over it, onto black skinny jeans. It fits the dress code without being too chic. Aaron furrows his brows and Washington nods, handing Philip his glass while walking away. “I’ll take care of it.”

“Don’t you want me to come along as well?” Philip asks.

“No, I will handle it. Enjoy the party a bit, son.”

The huge man disappears between the guests and Philip clicks his tongue, before looking back at Aaron and Theodosia. He hesitates a moment before stepping forward with a bright smile, holding his hand out. “It’s a pleasure to meet you, Mister Burr.”

“It’s Senator Burr.” Aaron snaps and Philip lets slowly his hand sink back to his side. He stands straight and has the blonde curls framing his face. Theodosia can feel her stomach sinking, seeing how her father glances at him.

“Of course, my apologies Sir.”

Aaron only raises his brows and Philip, sensing that this chat isn’t going anywhere, turns to Theodosia with a smile. “Good evening.” He says and holds his hand out. It’s odd, but she shakes it anyway and smiles back, looking like sunshine next to her father.

“Hey! Nice to meet you again. How are you doing?” She asks. Aaron tries not to groan, just wanting to get her away from this guy.

“Perfectly fine. Just tired, me and Georgie helped to decorate the whole day.” He explains and Theodosia looks at the Christmas trees and decoration all over the place. “It’s beautiful. Where is he?”

“Still upstairs, but we meet in the garden in…” He looks at the watch around his wrist. “A minute. I gotta go.”

Aaron has still clenched his jaw as Philip walks away with a polite smile. Theodosia looks over at his tense expression. “What?” She asks.

“Nothing, I just don’t like him.” He says and Theodosia folds her arms. “Why not? He is nice, we’re in the same school.”

She hopes that she isn’t too obvious with saying this, but this way she can at least hear him out a little bit. “He is too energetic. Just like his father. Stay away from him, alright?”

Theodosia opens her mouth to say something, when another man walks over to talk with her father. She excuses herself and follows Philips' hint, going outside into the garden.

The air is cold, but all the huge trees are covered in fairy lights and christmas balls. It nearly seems to glow and candles burn along the paths.

She smiles in awe, walking along the first path, until she is a bit further away from the Mansion.

“Guess who got the most beautiful girlfriend in the world?” A voice behind her retorts. She flinches and turns around to face Philip, who grins wide. “Hey.” She says with a cracked voice.

“Hey.” He whispers back. “You look great.”

“You aren’t so bad either.” Theodosia says and leans in for a kiss, but Philip takes a step back. “Not here. Come with me, I wanna show you something.”

He holds his arm out and Theodosia bites her lip, before clinging to his arm and walking along the path with her. “A wonder daddy didn’t scare you off me.” She giggles.

“Nobody could. But that was… really awkward.” Philip says and laughs as well. He leads the way to a small pavilion. Theodosia grins dreamy at it.

It’s made of white wood, with benches that are covered in blankets and in the middle is a fire-place in which burn already orange flames. The pavilion is covered in the flickering light and other fairylights hang around the ceiling to illuminate the place. “Philip, this is beautiful.” She breaths. 

“Yeah, pretty cool hu?” He asks and steps inside. George lays on the floorboards and has a book above his face, reading. “Hey french fucker.”

“Tais-toi, connard.” He says. Theodosia raises a confused brow and gets comfortable on one of the benches. She recognizes that a bunch of worn-out books lay around the floor.

“Wash found a box with old books in the basement. He said we can go through them.” Philip explains and sits next to Theodosia. He lays his arms around her and she snuggles backwards against his chest, so she sits between his legs. “I can’t believe you told the former President of us…” Theodosia says pouting.

George bursts out laughing, while Philip makes a bitter face. “Grandpa is such a snitch.”

“Oh, he loves you. Be happy he didn’t really tell Burr.” George says and Philip squirms on the bench. Theodosia chuckles and leans up. “I think someone promised me a kiss earlier.” 

Philip leans instantly down and kisses her, sweetly but passionated. Theodosia giggles into his mouth and kisses eagerly back, resting her hand on the side of Philips face. George gets up and puts the book next to Philip. “I get us drinks. Cola, three times?”

When they don’t answer he goes with a shrug to get everyone a bottle soda. Philip grins. “Good enough?” He asks sweetly, not really pulling his face away from hers.

“Nop. Come here.” She says and he obeys, diving back onto her soft lips. The lipgloss is now ruined anyway.

“Ehem.” Someone clears their throat and Philip nearly falls down the bench, when he stares at Thomas Jefferson, standing a couple of feet away at the entrance of the paviolen. George stands behind him. “I tried to stop him!” The boy says in French.

They stare at the Virginian. “Uhm- how… how long did you stand there?” Philip cracks out.

“Oh, long enough.” Jefferson says and grins at Hamilton. All the blood feels from Theodosias head, she shivers.

“But go on. Maybe there’s a good reason you two are macking on each other. I would be delighted to hear it.” Theodosia steps from Philip away like he is a hot potato. 

This isn’t good at all. Philip nearly scratches his brains out, on the search for an answer. “Be- because we’re… learning for drama class.” He finally lies. Jefferson raises a brow. “Do you think I am stupid?”

Philip holds back a sarcastic answer. Of course he does. 

Theodosia groans. “Mister Jefferson, please don’t tell anyone!” She pleads. Their fathers finding out is one thing, but hearing it from Thomas Jefferson a completely different.

“Oh, why shouldn’t I? I am pretty sure your parents would be interested in where their kids ran off to, and what they are doing.”

Thomas folds his arms and makes eye contact with Philip. He doesn't have a problem with Burr, after all. Not really, and seeing Philip squirm is really a sight. “Do you really want to be the one that ruins Washington's party? Besides, our fathers would first be angry at you, until they find us.” He tries to convince the man.

Jefferson glances at him, his expression darkens. “The pros outweigh the cons, dear boy. How would Hamilton react when he found out that his son is sneaking around with a Burr and he is none the wiser? Same goes for your father.”

Philip ponders and Theodosia feels like her stomach is iced. George makes a face behind the man that his father is friends with. What an asshole! “It would be hilarious but… I guess I don’t tell them right away. Enjoy the party.” The man leaves and Philip gawks behind him. Theodosia looks at Philip and the boy slowly turns his head towards his girlfriend.

“Fuck.”

“He won’t keep silent for long… oh my God. What are we supposed to do?” She panics and falls onto one of the benches. Philip whines and follows her with his eyes. “We have to tell him before him, obviously.” 

Theodosia makes a grimace. “But- they will be pissed! I am not ready yet…” She says and looks helpless at her hands.

Philip sits down next to her and takes her hands. He squeezes them softly. “What do you suggest then?” Philip asks and rubs her arms softly. She shrugs. “I don’t know… you are right. We need to tell them.” 


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Heyo,  
> I hope you all have a great time and enjoy the upcoming chapter. I am a bit more relaxed, because trough homeschooling I have 3 hours less of a way (I normally need 1;5 hours with the bus to school) and use the time to be creative. It's kind of cool, but I can hardly keep up with all the ideas I have

Chapter 14

_What's heaven to a womans love anyway?_

_// Tumblr //_

The evening is ruined. Philip is lucky, he excuses himself into bed and relaxes in the room he and George share in the Mansion. They’re actually two rooms, but connected with a door. In the middle is a bathroom.

George stays downstairs to entertain some guests and Theodosia walks around with her father. After a while she just sits down on a table, checking her phone every few moments. She tries not to stare at Jefferson all the time, but it’s hard.

Miss Burr, why are you all alone?” Washington asks. Theodosia looks surprised at the man and shrugs unsure. The man smiles softly. “Are you enjoying the party? I know it has to be boring, for someone your age.”

“Oh no, not at all. I think it is quite interesting.And I love your garden, it’s gorgeous.” She claims and Washington's smile widens. “Thank you, I set it up with the boys. 

They are really passionated about it, every year.” He tells her. Theodosia beams wide, getting her thoughts off Jefferson finally.

“They already told me.”

“Well, what do you want to become after school? Philip told me you two are the best students of your year. That is something to be proud of,” Washington says and Theodosia feel herself blush slightly. She gets why Philip is so close with the man. It’s comfortable to speak with him.

“I honestly don’t know it. I would like to help the people around me, but really don’t know what's the best job for it.” She explains. The former President smiles.

“There are still some places left at the internship at the White House.” He mentions and Theodosia makes wide eyes at him. “Do you- want me to apply?”

“Well, is there something you could lose?” Washington asks and Theodosia shakes baffled her head. Washington smiles encouraging.

Theodosia turns towards Aaron, who has watched the chat silently. “Hear that papa? Maybe I’ll become a politician like you.”

Burr huffs with a small grin. “Watch out, I think George tries to corrupt you.”

“I don’t think you should worry about me at this point.” Washington says, also joking. Aaron smiles amused. “Right, I have only one daughter, do me a favour and don’t get corrupted by politics.”

Theodosia tries to look happy, as everyone gets their food served. It doesn’t work out, and the evening stretches like gum on the hot asphalt. The minutes tick away, and even in bed Theodosias thoughts circle around the upcoming day.

Her father either doesn't recognize it, or decides to ignore it for now. Burr isn’t stupid, he is aware when Theodosia acts strange, but she got so used to lying around him that she isn’t sure herself.

Theodosia gets up and feels like her whole body is made of plastic. Her legs wobble when she gets out of bed, puts on some pants and walks downstairs.

Aaron stands in the kitchen, makes pancakes, eggs and bacon. The whole house smells like breakfast and coffee, but Theodosias stomach makes loopings.

"Good morning, and merry Christmas!" Aaron says as he sees Dosia, and shows her beaming all the food. Theodosia wonders how she'll even half of this. Maybe she'll bring some to the neighbours as well.

"Hey papa." She says, but her voice is small. She sits down and Aaron joins in as well, putting food onto his plate. She slowly takes some as well and taps her food, wondering how you start a chat like this.

"I have to tell you something." She bursts out. Aaron lets his knife down and swallows the piece of egg. He wrinkles his forehead.

"Of course, what's the matter?"

Theo takes a deep breath and hesitates a moment. "Uhm I- invited someone over. He should be here in-" she is interrupted by the ring of the doorbell.

Aaron cocks his head. "Good thing I cooked too much hu?" He asks and gets up. 

Theodosia jumps up. "I open the door!" She says fast. Aaron stops his movements and nods confused. "Sure, go ahead."

She stumbles to the door and opens. Philip stands on the threshold, covered in snow and ice. He wears a button-up under his jacket and has the hair pulled neatly into a bun.

She exhales. "Hey…" she says and gives him a quick hug. Philip looks pale at her. "Yeah, hey."

She lets him in and lead towards the kitchen, where Aaron still leans over his tea.

He narrows his eyes down, when he sees Philip standing awkward in the doorway.

"Good morning Senator Burr." Philip says with an unsure smile, but Aaron stays with his Lawyer-Face. He glances at Dosia. "What is he doing here?"

Theodosia decides to rip the bandaid directly up. It's not like she can back down now. "Papa, me and Philip are dating."

Aaron looks back and forth between them. “No,” he says, not angry in any way but just cold. Theodosia winces and Philip opens his mouth, but Burr is faster. “I said no. Leave my house.”

Theodosia makes a face and stands her ground, stepping between them like she is a force that protects them from each other. “Don’t talk to him like this! Be reasonable, please papa,” she pleads

“Theodosia Burr junior, we will discuss this later,” Aaron says with a sharp edge on his words. He looks at Philip. “I told you to go, didn’t I?”

“No he will not!” Theodosia folds her arms angry. “He is a teenage boy for damns sake, not some disease!”

She normally doesn't stand up to her father, who would basically do everything for her, but seeing him this unreasonable is frustrating.

“Senator Burr, I actually think that-”

“I didn’t ask for your opinion. Go to your room, now.” He has a hard time keeping his voice steady. Theodosia sniffs, but don’t moves an inch. She shrieks when he grabs her shoulders and pulls her to the side, so she doesn’t stand between them anymore.

Theodosia swallows hard, considers and then she took her last resort.

“What would mom say?”

Philip looks helpless at Theodosia, but her eyes stay on her father. She knows she’ll get in trouble for even bringing her up in this situation, but right now it seems like a good idea. “Don’t bring her into this…” Aaron hisses. He has closed his eyes, still a hand on her shoulder that grabs tighter now. Theodosia shakes her head. “Why not? She said that I have to-”

“She said I have to take care of you! I have to take care of you, and as long as you live in my house you will do as I say!”

Theodosias eyes water as Aaron releases her shoulder and his head jerks towards Philip, who still stands frozen like a deer in headlights. “Sir I-”

“I told you to leave. Go, or I will call the cops.” Philip doesn’t move, but only looks at the older man.

“At least let him speak dad!” Theo screams, tears beginning to rush over her cheeks. Philip tries to take a step forward and wipe them away, but Aaron grabs his arm and nearly yanks him to the door. It goes so fast that Philip can hardly react.

He falls down the threshold and lands hard on the iced asphalt.

Theodosias lip trembles as she gets out of her fathers grip. “I hate you!” She chokes out.

She doesn’t mean it, not at all. But she felt so upset and disappointed. Why couldn’t he just be happy for her? Why did everything have to be so complicated? If mom was still here, she would be happy for her. She would support them and tell Aaron that he acts unreasonable and not like himself at all.

She runs upstairs, slams the door shut behind her and just falls crying onto the bed. She hugs her pillow and buries the face in the blanket. Everything was so full of shit!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was the post I got the quote from: https://www.reddit.com/r/tumblr/comments/hd6vkw/this_is_why_we_all_have_trust_issues/


	15. Chapter 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yo, second chapter on a day. I would've uploaded earlier, but my computer broke down.
> 
> The quote is from Snowpiercer, with Daveed Diggs. In a month the new season starts on Netflix and so I re-watched the whole thing in a day. I love it. You should all watch it.

Chapter 15

_Sometimes things need to get lost, to be found again_

_// Snowpiercer //_

Theodosia doesn’t care if her father can hear her basically throwing a tantrum in her room. She feels awful and sobs ugly into her pillow, yelling from time to time. Normally is Philip the one that swears, which doesn’t mean Theodosia doesn't know how to.

Philip gets back onto his feet slowly. He feels a burning pain under his chin, and when he gropes there, it leaves his fingertips red. Great, he fell literally on his face.

He hesitates, thinking of just going back to the door and pressing down the bell until Aaron opens and listens, but he is aware that this would only end up with him in the custody of cops, or Aarons gun in his face. He doesn't want either, so he turns around and decides to talk with his own father, which seems a lot harder.

Alexander had a chaotic morning. He is normally the first to get up, but this time he stayed in bed with his Eliza and the little Holly, who is only six months old yet. She is tiny.

Angie kind of ruined breakfast by picking a fight with her parents and then rushing off to be left alone in her room. 

Alex decided it's best to give her a bit of time on her own, and laid onto the couch, asking his wife where Philip is and since when he is allowed to miss breakfast. He is a long-sleeper, but Eliza told him he isn’t even at home. She only said she doesn’t know where he is. Alex has the bad feeling that he hangs out with Susan again, but kept his mouth shut for once.

He looks over when Philip opens the door and comes into the house, freezing. Alexander jumps surprised up. “What happened to your face?” He asks, nearly hysteric. He crosses in big steps the room to inspect his son's face, but Philip only turns it away and makes a grimace.

“I slipped on the ice, nothing serious pa…”

“Uhu,” Alex says, obviously not believing it. “and who shoved you? Because you can be sure this person will get a damn lawsuit, or my foot up their ass, if they even dare to touch one of my children.”

Philip tries not to groan. “Can we take a walk? I need to speak to you.”

Now Alexander is the one who makes a face. “Into the snow? Into the cold?”

Philip folds his arms, watching his fathers dramatic speech. “Be happy I love you, I wouldn’t go into this blizzard for everyone. If we freeze to death I will never forgive you son.”

The Secretary gets dressed, while Philip decides to wait outside at the stairs. He wonders who shipped the snow away this morning, but doesn’t really care. He is on edge, even more after the incident at the Burrs, and he is dripping wet from the snow.

His car wouldn’t start in the morning, so he jogged the whole way and figured out that his lungs are dying.

Alexander comes outside and jumps down 3 stairs at once. Philip chuckles. “Don’t break your back.”

“Don’t act like I’m old, spot.” He warns joking. Philip walks next to his father and they go for a while, Alexander talking about his job and what happened during breakfast. Philip has pushed the fists into his pockets.

“So, where have you been?” Alexander finishes his long speech. They are already down the half street. Philip decides to talk a bit around the topic, since ripping off the bandaid didn’t work out the first time.

“I was at my girlfriends house,” he begins and Alexander wiggles his brows. “You would love her pops, she is great. She is smart and stunning and kind, in like every way.” He says and feels his cheeks heat up even more.

His father grins and pats his back. “I think you’re whipped kiddo,” he says, pulling the scarf closer around his mouth and nose.

“Do I know her?” He asks.

“Yeah, you do,” Philip answers. He picks nervous on his nails. Alexander makes a face. “And what's her name?”

He has a hard time not to just squirm. “That’s the problem. I mean, you always say that your kids can love whoever they want, and that's more about Gender and hair color and-”

“Oh, it’s a guy?”

Philip stops walking and gawks at his father. Alexander raises a challenging brow at his son. “That’s fine. We accept your sister, and we’ll accept you just as well if you-”

“I am not gay!” Philip bursts out and Alexander makes a defending motion with his hands. “Alright, so not a guy?”

They still stare at each other, as Philip shakes his head in disbelief. “I- what I wanted to say is, what if you wouldn’t like their politics? Or their parents?”

Alexander makes a face. He walks the few steps back and lays his hands firm onto his son's shoulder. The man takes a deep breath. “She is not a Trump-Supporter, right?” He asks, 100% serious.

Philip shakes his head again. “I said she’s smart.”

“So her parents are Trump-Supporters?” There is pure relief on Alexanders face when Philip says “No.”

“Then who is it hu? Wait- you’re not dating Susan Reynolds right? Because if you do I might send you to boarding school and make sure this girl will not even look into your-”

“I am not dating Susan!” Philip interrupts.

“I am dating Theodosia Burr.”

Philip feels like he is pressed under water, but then Alexander bursts out laughing. Philip watches his dark eyes water and him snorting. “Good one, you got me Pip.”

“I am not kidding. Stop laughing, this is serious!” Philip says and shoves his fathers hand from his back. “No really, who is it?”

“It’s Theodosia Burr, for fucks sake!” Philip bursts out. Alexander narrows his eyes and stops laughing. The smile vanishes from his face. “You really mean it?” He asks shocked.

Alex lays his head back and swears. “When I said you can love whoever you want… I did not talk about my political rival's daughter!”

“Oh no shit. Now it’s too late anyway.” Philip simply says, not searching for an argument. But Alexander won’t let him get away just like this. He knows Philip, and that he had enough girlfriends before.

“Okay listen, if you want to rebell why don’t you drink or get a piercing? I suggest you break it off, because it won’t work. Other mothers have beautiful daughters as well, you will get over it. I know you Pip, be reasonable and search for another girl.”

Philip folds the arms before his chest and shakes his head. This guy has to be kidding him. “I will not break it off. I love her and she loves me.”

“The Burrs are nothing but trouble. I don’t want you to find out the hard way. They are cold, unforgiving and in general annoying. Burrs are manipulative, always act like they share your opinion only to backstab you. In other words-”

Philip snaps angry at Alexander and yells. “You don’t even know her! And they can’t be more trouble than you, since I don’t think Burr ever got fired for calling his Boss a orange motherfucker!”

“Philip, I am your father and you will watch your tone with me!” Alexander says, a bit confused. Philip does never fight with him about anything. Of course, sometimes they don’t share the same opinion but they never really yelled at each other. He isn’t a rebel, but does as he is told.

“The hell I will do!” He says. Alexander crosses his arms. “You know what? Go to your room and come out when you come to terms. I will not let you ruin christmas.” Alexander waits for him to do it, but instead Philip stays stubborn in the same spot.

“No, you will listen to me. I never want anything, you tell me to study law, which I hate, and I don’t say anything. You drag me to boring events because you want to show off how great your kids are, I say nothing. You want me to have the best grades, richest friends and be perfect in general. 

But I will not break up with her because she isn’t the perfect white girl you want me to marry one day! And that's finished!”

With this he stumbs away, leaving Alexander gawking like a fish on land.

Philip rushes upstairs. The house is unusually quiet and Eliza doesn't even call after him, to not wear shoes in the house. 

Instead he slams the door to his room closed.

He nearly gets a heart attack when Angie sits on his bed, knees pulled to her chest. She sniffles and looks at Philip, who tosses his jacket over the chair.

“I told ‘em.” Angie pipes up. Philip leans against the desk and presses his eyes painfully together.

“About me and Susan. Life's a bitch.”

She is right, but Philip doesn't tell her that. Instead he opens a drawer and throws a pack of chocolate with Oreos onto the bed. “Great, because I told dad just about Theo.”

Angie grabs the chocolate and looks at Philip, whose eyes wander to the wrapped gift on it. He hesitates and grabs it. 

"It's from dad." Angie says and Philip rips the paper off. He would like to cry, seeing the lawbook. Fuck it.

"Fuck fuck fuck fuck!" Philip chants and with this throws the whole book into the trash can. Angie watches him with red rimmed eyes.

"I see, you love it." 

Philip shakes his head and gets out of the shoes as well, to fall next to his sister onto the unmade bed. He grabs some chocolate as well and cowers.

Angie sighs and sits a bit up. "He just wants you to have a good life. You know he grew up in poverty. Lawyers get paid a lot."

"And you think I will be happy in some goddamn office?" Philip spats and starts to gnaw on the chocolate.

"That's not what I said. But you have to find a compromise. I know you are under a lot of pressure, but don't let it consume you. Do what you think is right, it's your life. Family isn't everything."

"Yeah but I think I am ruining mine." 

Angie shakes her head slightly. "You don't. Shut up."

Philip sniffles and closes his eyes. 

“We should piss off from here.”

“Uhu… Washington?” Angie asks. Philip nods slowly, but they can’t raff themselfs up to do it. Not yet. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Snowpiercer: https://youtu.be/0zmbwj5fRaY


	16. Chapter 16

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all soo much for the reviews and comments! I really appreciate the feedback and am sorry for taking so long with uploading this chapter. I finished it already a while ago, but first my laptop broke down and then my depression kicked in for a couple days, very bad.  
> I am fine now thought, and am happy to finally upload this :D
> 
> The quote from the beginning is by Amanda Gorman, who spoke her poem at Bidens inauguration! Which is badass, because the damn orange clown finally pissed off.

Chapter 16

_ For there is always light, if only we are brave enough to see it, _

_ If only we're brave enough to be it _

_ // Amanda Gorman// _

“And you actually think he’ll like us in his home? I hardly know the man.” Theodosia says anxious. She looks nervous out of the window at the iced street. They drive up to Mount Vernom, the mansion already in sight.

Angie sits on the backseat and gnaws on some candy. “There’s nothing he wouldn’t do for Pip. Man always wanted a grandson, now he has two.”

Philip only sighs. He parks the car and sees Washington on the stairs with a shovel, trying to get rid of the snow and ice that lead to the door.

Theodosia sniffs as Philip opens the door to get out. “I talk with him first. Wait here.”

He squeezes Theodosias hand again, who looks just as miserable as Angie. They have both red eyes, while Philip just looks distant and a bit off. As if he’s caught in his own head and can’t escape anymore.

The snow crunches under the soles of his boots, as Philip walks to the entrance and stops at the stairs, hands buried deep in his coat and blinking against the sun at Washington.

The Ex-President doesn’t even look up. “Hey Grandpa…”

“Hello son.” Philip taps his foot nervous on the ground, narrowing his eyes.

“Your father called me, asked if you’re here.”

Philip makes wide eyes. “He also asked for your sister, but since you’re alone I guess-”

“She’s in the car.” Philip bursts out and George looks finally up. He has this kind of eyes that look not at, but through you.

The older man wrinkles his forehead.

“And who else?” He asks calmly.

“Theodosia. Burr.” The boy chokes out. He feels his eyes water as Washington comes down the stairs and stops right in front of him. “You date Theodosia Burr?”

He sounds surprised and Philip can only nod. Washington hesitates and puts his soft hands onto Philips shoulder to squeeze them softly.

For a moment he thinks George will tell him the same thing his father did, that it is an awful idea dn he should break it off. Instead he only nods.

"Then you shouldn't let them wait in the cold car. I bring this away, go inside and make tea or something." George says and walks away with the shovel. 

Philip exhales and rushes so fast back to the car he nearly slips on the eyes again.

"What did he say?" Theodosia asks directly. "That we should go inside. Come on."

Philip is just as drained as the two girls, but it's more in his voice then face.

Angie and Dosia both get out and follow Philip inside. Angie just hangs her jacket up, while Theodosia gawks around. The mansion still feels like a castle, posh and chik.

"Philip! What happened to your face?" Martha runs down the hallway and grabs him by the shoulders to kiss both his cheeks.

Angie blinks at the small woman, who pulls her into a tight hug. "What have you three done? Hoe lang have you been in wet clothes, Angelica Hamilton?"

Martha is smaller then all of them, is built like a soft fairy. But she has character.

Angelicas cheeks heat up at the worried and scolding comment. "An hour or so…"

"Go and get dressed. And take those two with you. I make you something hot to drink."

Philip smiles softly. She is really like a grandmother to him. Always a bit worried, maybe scolding a lot but she spoils them just as much.

Philip takes Theodosias hand and nods. "Thanks Miss Martha."

Martha just raises a brow and points at the staircase. 

The teens rush fast upstairs. Angie grabs Theodosia to give her a couple of her clothes, while Philip has spare clothes as well there. He puts an old sweater on and fuzzy socks, before waiting downstairs for the girls.

"When will George arrive?" Washington asks sarcastic as he comes inside,bringing a cloud of snow and cold air with him. "Not at all, he's in France with Monsieur Lafayette."

Washington brums and kisses Marthas cheek softly, who giggles.

"Your dad was really angry on that phone. Do you tell me what happened?" George asks and sets a cup of tea down, and one with coffee for Philip.

"Long story… basically, I told him that Theo is my girlfriend."

Washingtin blinks at his grandson, obviously surprised. He is the kind of person that lets everyone do what they think is right. He is raising adults, not children after all.

"Is it serious?"

"Would I tell him if it wasn't?" 

Martha sits down as well, keeps the pot with hot chocolate boiling on the stove. Angie comes inside as well, followed by Theodosia. The clothes are a bit big on the young girl, but it's not too bad.

"And what about you? What did you do?" George asks, looking at Angie. She takes a mug from the shelf as if she owns the place. Theodosia watches her curious, but she basically grew up here too.

"I told him I have a girlfriend too. He doesn't approve of her. As if I need his approval to do how I please! As if he ever gave a damn about what I am doing!" Angie rants and puts hot chocolate into her mug.

Her curls are still wet and she has put them into a messy bun. Normally Angie is the calm one, who does not speak much at home and got lost in the middle. Nobody really notices her much, but right now she is pissed. 

"You know what I never approved of? Him having an affair or having ten fucking siblings!"

Philip scoffs while his sister hands Theodosia a mug as well and sits then down on the table.

"Then convince him otherwise." Washington simply says. They all look at Philip. "What?"

"You are the only one he will listen to. Or mom, but she isn't exactly in a good mood right now anyway." Angie explains.

Philip shakes his head. "No way. What am I supposed to tell him hu? He will accept it, sooner or later. And that's finish!"

Theodosia clears her throat. Martha smiles at her. "You can sit down, girl. Feel like home."

"Thank you Misses and Mister Washington." She murmurs and sits next to Philip, taking his hand underneath the table. 

"Senator Burr will be easier to convince I suppose. He is a very reasonable man." Martha says, smiling dreamy. Philip and Angie make a face, while George laughs husky. "He is. Don't worry too much."

"You know, you were supposed to vote for him because of his politics not because he is-"

Before Philip can answer Angie has elbowed him.

Theodosia looks confused at them. "What?" She asks confused. 

"Not important. There was an article, when he ran for president, who said that your father only had votes because he's pretty." Angie explains and Theodosia makes a face. 

"What? But he doesn't have any hair!"

The three teens break into laughter while George shakes his head in disbelief and Martha sticks out her tongue. "I did not vote for him because he was pretty!"

"Sure you didn't." Philip says sarcastic and laughs even more. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Amanda Gorman speech: https://youtu.be/whZqA0z61jY
> 
> Amanda Gorman Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/amandascgorman/?hl=de
> 
> My Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/ink.dreamers/


	17. Chapter 17

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey y'all.  
> I hope you are all well out there and stay healthy. I wrote this chapter in one sitting, which doesn't happen a lot.  
> I would be really thankful for some reviews or comments :D  
> Have a good time and enjoy the new chapter

Chapter 17

_Merry Christmas, I don't wanna fight tonight_

_// Ramones //_

It took only an hour for the blizzard to make every street into an icy path full of branches and mud.

Theodosia felt already bad about bothering the Washingtons during dinner, but George just waved it bye, telling her it’s no problem if she and the two Hamiltons stay for the night. The only condition was that she would call her father to tell him where she was.

Aaron was outraged, obviously. He was super angry, which he is normally never. At least not at Theodosia, but this Christmas is different than any other anyway.

Angie disappeared pretty fast in Philips' room to call Susan and tell her everything that happened. Her brother gave her some space and showed Theodosia the guest room instead. He wouldn’t mind if she slept in his room too, but Washington held his foot down on that and Philip didn’t fight it. What Washington says is law, and PHilip respects him too much to discuss something like this with him.

“So your dad picks you tomorrow up then?” Philip asked and looked out of the window towards the storm. It was already peachblack outside and the thunder growled. 

The guest room was painted in white, with a bed on one wall and nice curtains in front of the window.

“Yeah. I will probably get my ass whooped. “ She says with a small voice and sits unsure onto the bed. The blankets feel silky and expensive. They are too nice to lay in, really.

“Kids, dinner!” Washington called from the kitchen in his loud and husky voice. Philip closed his mouth again, forgetting what he was about to say. Instead his stomach grumbles. Theodosia giggles. “You hungry?”

“Yeah.” Philip scoffed with red cheeks. He got up and held his hand out for her. Together they went to dinner and then to bed.

Theodosia is surprised how nice they all are, and how relaxed. She thought they would be very strict with manners and everything, but instead Washington told Theodosoai some stories about Philip and George as children, while Philip shoveled 3 plates of lasagne into himself.

“Are you sure you want this one? He eats like a pig.” Angie said in sweet voice, but looked serious at Theodosia. She blinked confused, but then Angie broke out laughing as Philip sticked his tongue out like a little child.

“Don’t listen to her. She only says that because she is a lying son of a-”

Watch your mouth son.”

“of a- uhm… son of a Political?” Philip tried. George laughed low and Martha rolled her eyes. “Thats worse Pip. “

The next morning comes fast. Theodosia wishes it would just stay dark outside, so she doesn't have to face anyone. On the other hand it’s kind of lonely, alone in the empty guest room.

She can hear Philip and Angie talk. Her boyfriend is a bit wider away, Angie seems to stand right in front of her door.

When they dim the voices, Angie opens the door and comes inside. She marches to the bad.

“Hey- Hey Burr. You gotta get up, there is breakfast.” She says. Theodosia yawns softly and sits up.

“Oh- Okay, thank you.” She says with a small voice. Angie just grins, but it looks faked. She gets up again and goes outside without another word.

Theodosia has the feeling that Angie isn’t too fond of her.

Philip stands at the stove, already a whole load of pancakes on the table in the dining room. The whole floor smells like eggs, bacon and pancakes. When Theodosia comes inside, everyone else sits at the table and loads their plates full with food. Except for Philip, obviously.

“Morning Dosia.” He says, pressing a short kiss to her cheek as he swirls around her to put a plate full of eggs and bacon onto the tabe too. Theodosia feels her cheeks heat up, but everyone is too focused on the food to notice anything.

“This smells great. I didn’t know you cooked.” She says and sits down to load food onto her plate and eat it.

“I have seven younger siblings. I better do.” He deadpans and clicks his tongue. He falls into a voice that sounds so much like Alexander Hamilton, that Theodosia looks around to find out where he stands.

“ _ Breakfast is the most important meal of the day children! _ ”

Washington chuckles when he sees Theodosias face. She rolls her eyes. “Dork… hey, who else can you imitate?”

Martha gets up to answer the ringing phone, leaving the four alone.

Philip swallows a bite of his bread down and thinks for a moment. “Uhm, dad is my speciality. But I can also do Trump, Obama, your father, Jefferson and Washington. I can also imitate James Madison, but he hardly speaks so that's damn boring, because you have to find something they say a lot to imitate it. Like this:” He clears his throat and falls into a voice like James Madison. “ _ The South! Thomas, someone has to save the South! _ ”

He chokes a bit and Angie pats his back. “Stay with dad, instead of destroying your lungs hu?”

“Alright.  _ Burr _ -” Theodosia giggles softly and leans forward. She decides to join in, tries to mimic her father.

“ _ Hamilton _ !” Philip looks surprised but not unpleasant.

“My god he will give me his passive-aggressive lecture on the drive home, I can nearly hear it.  _ I’m not mad ‘Dosia, just disappointed _ .”

Philip snorts and Theo sips on her fruit-tea. “Mine can do that even better.  _ Son, I am very disappointed in you! Your mother can’t take another heartbreak and you are the pride of this family, so act like it! _ ”

Theodosia scoffs, while George acts like he reads the news, but grins behind it amused.

“Oh, or  _ I will not say anything Theodosia, but expect you to understand what you did was wrong.  _ And then he will tell me anyway what I did was wrong. _ ” _

_ “ _ Alright, watch this:  _ Son, I can’t believe you embarrassed me this much in front of Washingdad, who is totally not my father! Don’t discuss it with me young man, I am totally reasonable and this girl is probably Satan!” _

Theodosia bursts out laughing and even Washington snickers behind the huge headline, while Angie just rolls her eyes.

Philip falls nearly out of his chair when Burr clears his throat behind him. Theodosia freezes and turns around to him.

He stands in the door with Martha, looking tired and unhappy with the whole situation. “Hi papa-” Theodosia mumbles and gets up from the chair. Philip lets go of her hand, which he held ‘till now.

“Bye, and thank you all again.” She says and presses a soft kiss to Philips cheek, who gets hot ears from it and smiles tenderly.

“Your clothes are still in the dryer. I bring them over later okay?” Philip says sweetly and Theodosia presses her lips together, trying her best not to turn to her father. God knows what he is thinking.

“Okay thanks love.” She says and gives the Washingtons again a small nod. “And thank you again. Really.”

“Nothing to thank for, my dear.” Martha says and leads them outside.

Aaron marchs directly to the car, while Theodosias slumps behind him. She gets into the car without another word and stares out of the rearview while hell breaks loose.

“Are. You. Mad?!” Aaron asks and buries his fingernails in the sterringwheel. Theodosia whinces.

“Do you have any idea how worried I was when you weren’t home?” 

“Okay, I am sorry I wasn’t home, but I told you and I was fine! I can handle myself fine?” She discusses and Aaron groans loudly.

“I have told you not to leave the house! Since you are with him you broke probably every rule we ever had! What makes you even think it is a good idea to be around this son of a bastard? He is not better than his father in any way!” Aaron stands his ground, still being angry.

“I already said I am sorry. And do you even hear yourself? You don’t even know him. You freak out for no reason.” Theodosia defends herself.

“Because I worked with his father! That's why. Can you at least- try to get why I don’t want you around him?” When Theodosia doesn’t answer he sighs. “Why are you wearing Martha's clothes?”

“Mine got wet! From the damn snow!” Philips swearing really seems to wash onto her too. Come on, I am not planning to go out and get piercings or a tattoo.”

he exhales, seemingly a bit grounded by this fact. “Don’t even think about getting those.”

Theodosia grins amused at his declaration and leans softly her head against the cold window. Her father finally starts the car to drive them home.

“Please papa! Give him one chance! Only one! You don’t even know him,” Theodosia pleads and gives him her sad eyes. Aaron clenches his jaw and then relaxes it again.

“Fine. But I will not let him talk off my ears! And I will not be nice or anything, I still think he is an asshole!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ramones: https://youtu.be/KIhIBFPtnoc
> 
> My Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/ink.dreamers/


	18. Chapter 18

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is presented to you by: copy and paste!  
> It has a lot of conversation, so I hope you enjoy it. And thanks for the nice Reviews! They are really motivating :D

Chapter 18

_I write the best when I'm either_

_falling in love or falling apart_

_// Rudy Franncisco //_

Theodosia waits at the window, looking the whole time down at the icy street. She knows that Philip will soon show up, to bring her the clothes back and drive Angie over to Susan, who isn’t too keen on staying with the Washingtons.

Her father is still a bit moody, but Theodosia feels a lot better than the day before. They were probably right, her father is reasonable. In most aspects. He is also overprotective, but Theodosia knows that Philip really wants her old man to like him.

Aaron calls from downstairs, so Theo gets up from her bed and walks down to have breakfast with him. For once she slept really well tonight, being totally KO after everything that happened.

But somehow she still worries that her father will not let him talk again. What then? He promised, but she feels nervous.

When he knocks on the door, Theodosia gets directly up and walks to open up. Philip stands in the doorframe, a white plastic bag with Theodosias folded clothes in one hand, and smiles unsure. “Hey Dosia.” 

Theodosia throws her arms around him and pulls the boy into a hug. “Hey Pip! Come in.” She says excited and loops an arm around his.

“Don’t worry, you’ll be great.” She assures him, sensing his nervousness.

“It can't be worse then the first one.” He whispers back and hands her the clothes, as they walk into the dining room.

Aaron looks up from his breakfast for a moment, inspects the boy. “Good morning Mister Burr!”

“It’s Senator Burr.” Aaron deadpans and Theodosia bites her lower lip. Philip slowly folds the hands behind his back. Theodosia tries to keep smiling bright, points at one of the chairs. “You can sit there Pip. And look, he brought my clothes back. Isn’t that nice papa?” She asks, raising an expectant brow at her father who seemed to be ignoring him for the time being.

“Sure it is.”

Philip scratches his neck awkwardly. "Yes uhm... no problem Theo." He says with an encouraging smile. He turns back to Aaron and presses his lips together. "Would you mind if we.. talk?" He asks. "You already are, talking."

Philip stares at the man, seemingly confused. Theodosia elbows him, moving for him to keep talking. Her father won't make this easy, so he should just go for it.

Philip on the other hand, did not even think that Aaron would even let him come this far. Meaning: he has no idea what to say.

Come on, pull yourself together, Hamilton.

I mean... it was probably not such a good idea to directly rip off the bandaid. And I just wanted to make clear.." He speaks slowly and thinks about every word. "That you don't think we do this to make you angry, or out of rebellion, or for any other stupid reason that isn't love." He gulps

Theodosia smiles at herself at his declaration, feeling her cheeks turn bright hot. 

Aaron takes a sip of his coffee before looking at Philip directly with a morbid expression, "Let me ask you, Hamilton." He starts dryly, "How do I know you won't live up to your name and hurt my daughter in some way?"

Yes, that's a great question. An absolutely great question. “It’s not my intent. I would give you my word, but since this probably won’t mean a lot to you .” They fall into silence and Philip feels his sweaty palms. Shit shit shit.

“And I am the last to hurt anybody. I know firsthand what it does to people.”

Aaron doesn't seem to be displeased or pleased by his answer, just takes another long sip of his coffee, so much so that Theodosia becomes anxious, glancing at her hands on her lap. He finally looks at him, once more, "How long have you been going out with my daughter, that you neglected to tell me?"

Philip looks over at Theodosia for a moment. Neglected? Really? "Since... the day after Halloween." He answers. He fiddles nervous around with his hands. "We discussed in class, and continued it after school. And well... it just ended up pretty long. So yes, two months."

Aaron glances at Theodosia, who tries not to grin. “Sorry papa…”

Her father just coldly looks back at his plate, "So you lied to me for two months." Theo winces, and fiddles with her hands in embarrassment. Aaron glares at Philip, believing him to be the sole reason his daughter lied.

“We haven’t told anyone until a few days ago. Not even our friends.” Philip tries so to save the conversation. 

"Does Frances know?" Aaron asks and Theodosia nods, 

"Yes, she really likes Philip." She tries to pull the Frances card on him, knowing that he trusts her. He just hums thoughtfully, leaning back, and staring at Philip. "You're well aware I don't approve of you. Or your family." Aaron drawls.

Philip nods his head slowly. "Yes I know that. But you should also remember, I'm not only Alexander's son. I am not just some family name or legacy.

And I wouldn't take all those burdens, if this wasn't a hundred percent serious to me." He says calm and lets finally the hands behind his back go.

Aaron huffs lightly. He looks back and forth between Theodosia and Philip. "And Frances actually thinks that?" He asks Theodosia, even though his last argument stucks with him.

Aaron knows that Elizabeth is very reasonable, just like her sister. He always wondered how she ended up with a guy like Hamilton. 

Theodosia snickers softly, "Yeah. Just don't tell her I said that."

Aaron groans lightly at her words. 

"You really mean it what?" He asks and looks at Philip. He knows that his daughter can defend herself, but really? Philip Hamilton? 

"Go home, I will think about your words. Maybe." He adds and Philip scratches his head awkward. 

"Uhm... yes sure." He says and gets slowly up. He smiles at Theodosia, not sure of what Aaron even means. He looks so cold,it's hard to say what he thinks.

Theodosia nods brightly, "Alright." 

She ushers Philip out the door, a small smile on her face and presses a tiny kiss to his lips in a goodbye, 

"I think you swayed him a bit." She reassures him in a whispering tone, glancing back at her father. Theodosia knew it could have gone better, but it also could have gone worse, so she'll take what she can get.

Philip lays his hand onto her cheek and grins. He finally exhales a bit and shrugs. "You think? I hope so, at least he don't seems to hate me totally anymore." He says with a small grin and pulls his hand away again.

“Hey, if you can, you should come over to Susans. We celebrate Sylvester together. You can also bring Frances with you-”

“A party?” Theodosia asks in disbelief. Philip shakes his head. “Nop, just friends hanging out. Georgie brings his sisters along and I have to watch out for William, so it will be really just us chilling.”

“I will try to convince my dad and Frances! Bye sunshine!” Theodosia presses a soft kiss to Philips cold lips. He beams at her and goes back to the car, feeling light headed after the talk.

It didn’t go that bad, right?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Rudy Francisco: https://www.instagram.com/rudyfrancisco/?hl=de
> 
> My Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/ink.dreamers/


	19. Chapter 19

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> O my God, thank you all so much for the flood of comments :D it's super motivating, and I am thankful for every single one.
> 
> I hope you are all doing fine and enjoy this chapter just as much

Chapter 19

_The child who is not embraced by the village_

_will burn it down to feel it's warmth_

_// african proverb //_

Theodosia can’t convince her father to let her out on Sylvester, not even with Frances. The plan is easy, they go to church and have dinner afterwards at Lauren's house. Nothing Theodosia could argue against, even though she likes Philips friends.

School starts again, and Philip still doesn't talk with Alexander. They live in the same house, but whenever one steps into a room, the other leaves immediately. They are more arguing roommates than anything else.

Eliza isn’t happy about their arguing. She sits Philip down between the years, tells him that she couldn’t care less about him dating Theodosia Burr, but not even she can talk Alexander back into reality. And she doesn’t say a word about Susan and Angie, but more because she still hasn’t completely processed it.

It’s no problem that Angie is Bisexuall. The problem is more that she is in love with the daughter of her father's affair.

She comes home again too, but is outside mostly. Either in school, or with Susan in the city, just walking through the Capital.

“Ow, it looks cosy. Like a hidden room,” Theodosia says, as she steps into Philips chamber. She looks around at the stuffy books and clumsy furniture. Philip grins and closes the door behind him, shuddering.

“Damn, the heater stopped again.” He says and goes over to give it a swift kick. Theodosia raises a brow, but it actually starts working again and she chuckles amused.

She sits onto his bed, looks over at the tv next to it. It isn’t a modern one, she guesses he bought it second hand. He buys nearly everything second hand, she discovered. Except for clothes, he explained.

“So, what film are we watching?” Theodosia asks. Philip wiggles his brows and puts a DVD into the recorder.

Philip sits next to her and wraps a blanket around their shoulders. He pulls the knees to his chest. "Its my favourite. Next to sleeping beauty." He explains and chuckles. "But you chose the next one." He makes clear and kisses the tip of her nose.

Theodosia snickers when the intro of Lion King starts and Philip sings over dramatic with.  "Well that's just bad taste. Everyone knows the best Disney movie is Princess and the frog. Do you have that one?" She teases, and knots their fingers together again, a common gesture she did out of habit.

"It isn't the best. But its good, sure." He grins and kisses her knuckles, before nodding his head. "Sure. Just look into the box and take what you want." He grins. "Theres not only Disney inside." He adds fast and gives her the box.

Theodosia sticks her tongue out at him teasingly and sets the boxset on her lap, sorting through them. She clicks her tongue, "Wow, you do have a lot of movies in here." She awes, lifting them up one by one as she looked through, "The only movies my dad has at home are really bad soap operas,”

Philip bursts out laughing. “And I thought it’s bad that my father cries at dirty dancing.”

Theodosia presses a finger to his lips to suppress his laughter, giggling herself, "Shh, just don't tell him I told you. He'll kill me." She whispers jokingly, before snorting in amusement at Philip's fact about his father, "That's totally reasonable. I cry at Dirty Dancing." Theo snickers.

"Yo Mister Burr, wanna watch a soap opera with me?" He asks in a silly voice. Theodosia rolls her dark eyes amused. 

“You will never know how it is to comfort a grown man, in tears after watching Love In Paradise.” Theodosia says and Philip nods seriously. “And I hopefully never find out. But to be honest: I cried at Titanic.”

“Well, I cry at almost every movie. I am just emotional.” Theodosia says and buries her face on his shoulder. It’s comfortable to sit there and talk while Disney films play in the background.

“Being emotional isn’t bad. I like my sweet emotional girlfriend.” He says teasing and kisses the top of her head. 

"You charmer." She teased and curled her fingers into the fabric of his short, "If you keep this up we'll never get through the movie, I'll just stay here making out with you." Theodosia snorted with amusement.

Philip cocks his head and lays his hand onto her side. "Theo, that's the plan."

Theodosia gasped dramatically, "You tricked me with the promise of movies. It's like you only love me cus I kiss good." She teased. “That's it. No more kissing ‘till marriage.”

Philip makes a shocked face, but then gets up with a small pout. He opens a drawer in his desk and comes back with apple rings. He grabs one out, falls onto a knee.

“Theodosia Burr, light of my life, sun of my existence, when you marry me, I swear I will never watch soap operas or cry at Dirty Dancing." He says, trying to stay serious. Theodosia slipped it onto her finger and fell alongside him, wrapping her arms tightly around him and pressing a joking fleet of kisses to his cheek, "Oh, Philip, I thought you'd never ask!"

They stay a bit on the bed, relaxing into each other's scent and keeping their joking and flirting up. The hours just melt down like nothing, and it gets early dark.

Philip drives her home, but his day was better than the whole last week. “I see you then in school again, next week yeah?” He asks.

Theodosia nods smiling, still leaning a bit in the car. “Yep. Hey, you should come to the yearbook. You could write a poem or so.” She adds with a grin.

Philip raises unsure a brow. “Yearbook hu? I think about it Teddy.” Theodosias cheeks heat up at the nickname.

Theodosia closes smirking the door and goes inside her house, while Philip drives the car back. Eliza told him to take her Mercedes, not wanting him on the dark and icy streets with his old car.

He didn’t protest, knowing that Eliza's car is way cooler than his anyway.

After Theodosia had left, Alexander had waited in the hall for Philip, knowing he'd be back from dropping her off, so he could finally trap him in a conversation. He was definitely not happy about bringing the Burr girl around his home.

Philip just comes inside. He gives his father one short look, before throwing the keys onto the table and getting rid of his coat, as if Alexander isn’t even there glaring holes into his skull.

Alexander huffs. "Philip, you can't just ignore me forever," he snaps, a bit too aggressive upfront. 

He was sure that this behavior had to do with the Burr girl, she was some sort of bad influence on him. Alexander didn't understand why he couldn't just let her go, Philip had many girlfriends before, she shouldn't be any different.

"Watch me." Philip says and puts his shoes into the closet. Since his father is between him and the staircase he walks into the living room and sits down on the piano, playing at a fast pace the keys.

John sits in front of the tv, but he plays a video game and has headphones on.

"Philip, see reason, please. She's just a girl, there will be others." Alexander tries to reason with Philip once more, curling his fingers around the doorframe. He hates being ignored, especially by Philip who hates it just as bad. "Pops, no matter what you say to me, I can't leave her. I love her, more than I've loved anyone before, and more then I love myself."

He stares at the black and white keys. He feels like all the anger is blown away, and only leaves him disappointed. Why can't he just accept her?

He takes a deep breath and shakes his head softly. "And I wish you would at least try to understand it."

"I wish you'd understand my reasoning as well. I would hate to see you hurt because of her, and if the presses found out-" he grimaces, cutting himself off. He sits down, next to Philip onto the instrument as well.

His son makes a face. "I fall in love, really bad, and tell you about it, knowing that you wont like it, and you worry about the press?" Philip asks and looks finally up. Alexander rubs his temples.

"Phillip, I'm thinking about what's best for you." He says coldly, looming over him, "I suggest you start doing the same." He hesitates for a moment, then: ”And you need to start focusing on other endeavors, your schoolwork, your future."

Philip lets his hand sink, and folds them in his lap. "School Work?" He raises a brow at him, and then asks: "What college or university do I want to visit?"

Alexander grunts. “Princeton. Law and-”

“No, that's what you want me to do!” Philip interrupts him.Alexander closes his mouth with a bitter expression.

“You act like you want me to be happy, but what you mean is, you want me to be like you! You don’t even know Theodosia, haven't spoken to her in years, and point your fingers onto others, ignoring your own flaws! All you think about is Aaron, but breaking news: I'm not dating him,but his daughter for fucks sake!" He feels the hot tears run down his cheeks. He never cries, or at least not in front of people.  _ God, stop being such a baby _ , he thinks to himself. 

He gets up from the piano, rushes down the stairs and locks the door behind him. Alexander flinches at his outburst, reaching a hand up, as if to pull him back, as he escapes upstairs. "Philip-"!" He wasn't expecting that from Philip, and it did hurt as he exhaled sharply and just sat at the piano. He thought, if Philip was going this far, if he was this passionate he must really love her. And the thought made him groan.

Worse enough that Philip was actually thinking that he wasn’t proud beyond belief of him. All he wants is for Philip to be happy and not throw his life away! That can’t be wrong!

He keeps sitting on the piano, when Angie walks past him and grabs an apple from the table. He huffs. “Any comments from you as well?” He asks sarcastic.

“Would you give a damn if I did?” She asks dry and bites into the fruit. “Besides, if you don’t listen to your favourite you listen to not one of us-”

“Philip isn’t my favourite!” Alexander says offense. Angie cocks a brow. “How do you know I was talking about him?” With these words she leaves the room and Alexander groans frustrated. Fuck!

He gets up and walks upstairs. He wasn’t at Philips room since he moved inside. The stairs are old, the way up is dark and gives him the creeps. He doesn't get why he would ever want to live up here, but he guesses it’s the quietness.

He knocks against Philips door. “Philip- come on, open the door.” He says, but only hears a pained sob. He gets that Philip won’t open.

"Are you really serious about this girl?" Alexander asks, quietly, unlike him at all.

"No, I do that to piss you off. Watch out, before I get piercings and tattoos, and join the KKK, or support Trump." 

Alexander leans his forehead against the doorframe. "Look Pip, I know I'm not exactly a stay-at-home father." Alexander admits sheepishly, "But I love you and your siblings and your mother. All of you.

And as much as I really hate it, I can tell you're really whipped." He falls silent, not being able to get the approval out of his mouth.

"Okay." Philip only says, laying crumbled on his bed, staring pained out of the window into the yellow sky. That’s the eye of the hurricane than. 

"I know... you never were. Just... my God, is this really the end of the world? She is smart, she is sweet and sensitive and beautiful, and you act like I'm about to marry Shreck, not having a girlfriend.

I can’t even describe her."

"Then she really must be something, hm? You always have something to say." Alexander remarks, and ruffles Philip's hair, "She's a lucky girl, Pip. I hope you're right about her."

Philip puts his forehead into wrinkles and sits slowly up. “Wait seriously?”

“I obviously can’t stop you.” Alex retorts. Philip nearly falls over his one feet, opening the door and staring at his father, who raises a brow. They are nearly the same height at this point, but Philip is still growing. 

"So you stop acting like the world is about to end?" He asks with hopeful eyes and a grin appears on his face.Alexander grimances, "I'll try. Though it'll be hard. Burr came knocking at my door the day you told me, we both agreed to keep you away from each other." He admitted sheepishly, though he's moved by how hopeful Philip looks, 

"Think you can manage to sway  _ him _ ? That'll be a challenge."

"I actually talked with him." Philip says and scratches his head. "I might've forgotten to mention that, but he heard me out and did not kick me out. I think he will be able to deal with it." Philip says and smiles fine.places a hand on Philip's head, with a small smile, "Just be careful, alright?" He says, tilting his head to the side, before the Hamilton patriarch departs downstairs.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/ink.dreamers/


	20. Chapter 20

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Some more drama!  
> I can't wait for it to be summer, and have a timeskip in this chapter. How do you like it? Ay comments or wishes?  
> Let me know my people!

Chapter 20

_Don't ya wory about a thing_

_'Cause every little thing is gonna be alright_

_// Bob Marley //_

Everything works out surprisingly well. Theodosia becomes the best grades in her class, while Philip gets homeschooled with Georgie from this point on. The boys write college applications, Theodosia keeps working for the yearbook and Aaron don't comments on her relationship anymore. 

The snow melts, they meet nearly every weekend and just hang out. They text after school, sometimes Philip is home earlier and picks her up from class.

Sometimes Theodosia tries to learn a new piece on the piano, or Philip cooks for them. It's calm and feels like vacation, for both of them.

Even Angie and Susan make peace with Alexander and Eliza. They all try to have dinner once a month, like a big patchwork family, Theodosia thinks to herself.

Theodosia loves it. She always wanted a big family, and William loves the two girls. He shows Susan his Pokèmon cards, talks about piano lessons with Theodosia and teases Philip over food.

They even take some of Pips poems into the back of the yearbook, anonym since he isn't official a student anymore.

But there is still stuff they don't talk about. Theodosia keeps to herself, how much she misses her mother and how lonely the days are,when her father is in New York. Instead she befriends closer with George, and even Angie relaxes and gives her a sympathetic smile once in a while. Maybe the Hamilton girl is still sceptic, but Susan seems to convince her otherwise. She likes Theodosia.

"Hey girllll!" Theodosia flinches at the shadow and lays her head back, to look up at the black boy in front of her. He leans against the red locker and grins down at his classmate.

"You are Hamiltons girlfriend right?" He asks. Theodosia prozesse that it's Justin. Head of the basketball team.

Theodosia is sure that Philip is friends with him, even thought he never introduced them. He explained that the Football- and Baskettballteam hate each other. He and Georgie are friends with the baskettball players.

"Uhm yeah?" She says perplex. Normally nobody in the whole Highschool talks to her. Not that she is unpopular. She is more unrecognized than anything else, enjoys being alone with Frances or Angie and Susan, who invite her to sit at their table once in a while.

"Nice! Tell him we meet at my house on sunda yeah? Poolparty. You can come too!" With that he holds his fist out. 

Theodosia still blinks unsure at him. Not even an introduction? She never got how people can move like this through school. He seems to float, turns the air around them into liquid, to a cloud in which he is untouched.

"Yeah-" Theodosia gives him a soft fistbump and then the long limbed boy already walks to the next people. 

"What the heck was that?" Frances asks laughing and puts pink gum between her lips. Theodosia shrugs unsure.

"You want to go?"

"What? Theodosia Burr wants to go out? I am agape!" Frances teases.

And Theodosia doesn't like parties! But it's a friend of Philip and he got a pool, so why not? In the worst case they can just go again. And also: it's hot and the temperature climbs up the termostate every day.

When she tells her boyfriend he just shrugs. "Sounds like fun," Philip says, but Theo isn't sure if he means it.

So they go.

And when Frances arrives with Theodosia, there are already kids sitting everywhere on the lawn and loud music comes from inside the house.

It's not hard to find Philip. He plays in blue swim trunks Baseball with an older boy, sweat covering his freckled body and he holds the bat loose in his hands, swinging once in a while to meet the ball with the wood.

Most girls watch them. Or better: they watch him.

Theodosia cringes a bit and goes to grab a cola.

"Dosia!" George calls out and hugs her laughing. He smiles wide, wears contacts instead of his glasses and has a basketball shirt on and also trunks. He has a beer in his hand and the curly hair braided into cornrows.

"Oh hey Georgie!" Theodosia says and hugs him back with a smile. George holds his bottle out. "Here, drink. Have you been in the water yet?" He asks with a grin.

Theodosia hesitates and takes the bottle, but only holds it. George does not seem to recognize it and just leads the way to the pool.

Philip sees them and comes over to hug Theodosia, without even looking at George.

"Ugh!" She whines. "You are sweaty Pip!"

"Yeah yeah, I'll take a shower later. Promise Teddy." Philip jokes and sits down on the edge of the pool, legs in the cool water. "How do you like it?"

"Better, now that you're here." Theodosia says and pecks his lips. Philip leans with a sigh into the soft touch and smiles dreamy up at her.

He turned really brown in the sun. "I love you Teds. Do you want to swim?" He asks, but a ball lands next to him in the grass again.

"Yeah, but I need to change first." Theodosia admits, as Philip grabs the baseball.

"Alright. When you're back I am all yours. Promise my girl." Philip says and kisses her knuckles, before running off with the baseball. George rolls his eyes, but looks more drained then anything else.

"Like a puppy," he mutters and walks towards the door. "Come on Dosia, I show you where you can change."

Theodosia follows her friend inside. The house is cool and calmer. Nobody is really inside, except for Justin who changes the music of the boxes once in a while.

Right now they play Bob Marley.

"He's already playing the whole evening. Man, he doesn't even like sport!" George rambles and opens the door to a bedroom. He swanks to the bed and sits down on it. He blinks exhausted.

Theodosia chuckles to herself. He is more drunk than she thought at first. She puts the beer onto the floorboards and grabs her swimsuit.

Georgie buries the face in his hands and Theodosia raises unsure a brow at him. Is he asleep?

“Georgie? Are you alright”? Theodosia asks serious, but he only shakes his head and looks at Theodosia with watery black eyes. “I argued with Philip earlier.” He murmurs, nearly embarrassed.

Theodosia hesitates, baffled. “You did? You want to talk about it?” She asks empathetic. She can’t even imagine that they ever argued before. They seem to agree on almost everything and are so close, it’s surprising.

But Georgie stays silent. Theodosia steps in front of him and looks at the French. “Georgie, you will get along again. You are best friends, what could ever break you up hu?” She asks, encouraging.

He shakes his head softly and gets up again, looking down at Theodosia. “You got this, trust me. You two are-” Theodosia is cut off, by soft lips on hers. The taste on beer and sweat and georges own scent.

She can’t even react, standing there shocked and with her eyes ripped wide open. Does she dream, or is Philips friend kissing her? Oh God-

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bob Marley: https://youtu.be/LanCLS_hIo4


	21. Chapter 21

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Good night my dudes.  
> I hope you're all well out there :) thank you for the feedback! I am always happy to receive it.  
> Any thoughts about George?

Chapter 21

When I saw you laugh, it took every ounce

of me not to fall in love

// Atticus //

It was an awful day. It was hot, George hung over the toilet, throwing up his breakfast to get the alcohol out of his body.

Philip came inside, not looking happy but nevertheless he pattes the Frenchs back and held the hair out of his face.

Theodosia just sits on the bed and listens to them. They speak French, they always do it when they talk to each other, and she wants to cry.

She wants to tell Philip. Every second feels like she is betraying him, even though she didn't want to kiss George! He just did it without asking. And he is Philips best friend! If Theodosia tells him, he will flip off. And she couldn't bear to destroy their friendship.

Philip comes out of the bath, one arm around Georges back and the French has his arm over Pips shoulder as support. 

"I'm sorry Dosia. I need to bring him home okay? I can give you a ride too if you want."

Theodosia stares at her boyfriend. His freckled face, the loving eyes and this naïve look. He has no idea.

"N-no. I- go home and…" Theodosia swallows and gets onto her feet. "I need to go." With this she rushes out of the room. Philip looks worried. "Are you alright-" he is cut off when Theodosia slams the door shut behind her.

She feels guilty and dirty. Her thoughts circle and she walks home without telling anyone else.

George just keeps his mouth shut, as Philip drives him home, being the most relaxed out of them.

George somehow hopes that the next morning will be better. The world looks normally more clear and fresher, once you had a good night full of sleep.

But this isn't the night. It's more the day before everything turns worse.

George has texted Theodosia around 50 messengers, asking if she can come over so they can talk. He is obviously feeling worse than Theodosia ever could. First of all, he is the loyalest person Theodosia knows, second, he hasn’t slept.

And Theodosia gets it. He wants to talk, which is better before everything can escalate even more she thinks. So she asks her dad to drive her to the Lafayettes house.

Theodosias stomach sinks when she sees Philips car standing in front of the house. She really doesn't want to see him, but is aware that they have to tell him. How can she lie to his face, when he tries his best for her?

Aaron lets her out of the car, and Theodosia walks to the front door. The windows are wide open, and soft piano music flows out into the sweet air. It smells like flowers.

The door is open, so Theodosia goes inside and follows the sound of music. She stops in the doorway and looks at all the people. Susan and Angie lay on the couch. They wear sweatpants, Angie is reading and Susan on her mobile.

George sits on the table, learning. Philip plays on the grand piano. He even sings softly, which sounds strange with his untrained voice, but not bad. It nearly makes her tear up again.

“Theodosia! There is our homegirl!” Susan calls amused over at her. “Having a hangover?” She adds.

Theodosia shakes her head, even though she might look like it. George doesn’t look at her, but Philip beams over. “Teddy!” He says and gets up to grab her hips and kiss her passionately. Theodosia can’t react, just looks at him with a broken expression.

But she screeches when a dog jumps up on her. He is big and black, barks low. Theodosia stares baffled down at the pet. “This is Alexander Washington the first.” Philip introduces laughing and knees down to scratch the dog behind his ears.

“Wha- why?” She asks and Philip looks up at her. “Someone left him next to the highway. Poor boy was dehydrated and nearly dead in the baking sun.” Philip says.

He told her that he wants a dog, about a million times in the last months. And he always looked sad, saying that his father is holding his foot down on that. He is scared of dogs.

“He picked him up, when he drove me home.” George says suddenly. He stares at them, but when Theodosias eyes meet him, he immediately looks back at his homework.

“Yeah- George can we talk?” Theodosia asks. “My father is waiting outside for me. I don’t plan on staying long.”

George keeps his eyes down as he gets up. “Uh, someone got a secret.” Angie jokes, but Philip gives her a serious glance. “Are you okay?”

“Yes. It’s about- look, let us just talk so I can go again okay?” She says, a bit more pissed than she probably should. George nods. “We can talk in my room.” He murmurs and leads the way upstairs. 

Theodosia lets the door fall closed behind them. "George... what was that?" She asks softly. George buries the face in his hands, looking desperate. "I am sorry! I don't wanted to make you sad!" He says and sobs. He shakes and looks up. "I ruined it! Why did I do this?"

"Hey, hey, it's okay," Theodosia is alarmed as he starts to sob and gently places her hands on his shoulders, "Just... why did you do it?" She repeats after him softly, "If you explain it to Philip, I'm sure he'll understand."

“Non!” He says suddenly, taking a step back. “He will hate me! We can’t tell him!”

Theodosia stares at him, shaking her head. “But we have! I can’t lie to him, he is my boyfriend! Just tell me why you did it, because I don’t get it. I thought you are Philip are the best duo ever?”

“I did it because- I think I am falling in love with you-” Georges words get tiny and high in the end, swallowed by another broken sob. He looks like a small child again, and Theodosia gets the reason he and Philip like each other so much. Maybe they are two sides of the same coin. Boys, artists. Philip reckless and loud, keeping his feelings to himself. And George, who thinks about things too much, is quieter and cries so openly. 

Theodosia pulls him into a hug, wrapping her arms around him, "I'm so sorry... I don't... I can't return your feelings." She murmurs, gently rubbing his back to comfort him. He nods slightly and accepts the hug. "I know you don't... I am sorry." He murmurs and sniffles. "I shouldn't have brought you into this situation-”

"It's okay." Theodosia pulls away, but keeps her arms around him, "Maybe in another life." She jokes brightly, "You're a great guy, George. But we should really talk to him. What if he finds out another way?"

George nods and wipes his face clean. "Oui, I will. And I make sure he isn't angry at you anymore... I promise." He says with a small voice and rubs his arm. "Can we... still be friends?" He asks. "Of course." Theodosia leans in to peck his cheek, lacking the passion she did with Philip in a sort of friendly goodbye kiss, "I'd like nothing more than that. You two are best friends, I'd hate to get in the way of that."

“Not so sure if we’ll still be after this-” He whispers, but then nods. “I talk to him. When the others are gone. Tomorrow.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Atticus: https://www.instagram.com/atticusxo/?hl=de
> 
> My Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/ink.dreamers/
> 
> Alexander Washington: https://www.pinterest.de/pin/577094139747927546/


	22. Chapter 22

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And, second chapter on a day!  
> Write reviews my dudes!

Chapter 22

_All this blood was never once beautiful_

_It was just red_

_// Kait Rokowski //_

Just that tomorrow is too late.

The girls lay in George's bed, and George on the couch. Philip settles for a sleeping bag on the floor, but is woken by his ringing phone.

“Philip, turns this off you idiot!” Angie grumbles angry. It’s peachblack and Philip finally finds the vibrating mobile. He takes the call. “Pops, why the hell are you calling?”

“Have you seen the top trending story? Is it true?” Alexander asks instead. Philip sits yawning up. “It’s five in the morning. What do you think?” He asks sarcastic.

“Why, does it involve any of us?” He adds and crumbles out of the sleeping bag to get his laptop and check the news, to see what Alexander is even talking about.

“No, it’s about Theodosia.” Alexander answers. Philip raises a brow, worried. “About Teddy?”

He puts the phone onto speaker and now George sits up as well. “What about Theodosia?” He asks in French and scoops to look over Philips shoulder as the Twitterfeed loads. “The trending hashtag. Do you want me to pick you up or can you drive home?”

But Alexander doesn’t even have to ask this question. “Theodosia Lafayette” Philip reads out and before George can stop him, he has pressed the button. A couple of pictures and Tweets flash on the screen, mostly Philip and Theodosia kissing. Photos from Philips phone. Another shows her and George. Kissing in Justins bedroom.

Philip just stares puzzled at the photograph. George inhales shakey, searching for words, but not one comes past his lips.

“George- tell me this is a bad joke.” Philip demands with a small voice. He never sounds like this. Not since the Reynolds pampleth. George stays silent. “Are you still there Philip?” Alexander asks from the phone. Philip just hands up and turns to look George in the eyes.

“This is a joke! George, you tell me you didn’t do this!” He screeches. Susan and Angie start to watch them confused, but George can’t. He shakes his head, staring in Philips normally bright eyes, now hurt and teary.

“I can’t-”

“No you didn't- Tell me you didn’t!” He screams and slams his laptop shut. George feels his heart thumbs. “I am sorry. Philip I shouldn’t have-” But at this point, Philip is already on his feet. He has his hands balled into fists and yells in French, more to himself then anyone else, while grabbing his laptop and phone.

He is hardly holding it together, as he rushes out of the room. George stumbles to his feet to follow him, while the dog runs after them too. Philip is already trying to get into his shoes, still wearing a shirt and boxer shorts only. He feels sick, can’t even make himself look at George.

“I am sorry Philip! I never wanted to betray our friendship- please listen to me! Wait!” George pleads, as Philip rips the door open. George grabs his arm to stop him, but when Philip turns around his face is red and wet. Tears stream out of his eyes like lakes.

“I hate you!” Philip yells. He can’t even describe how betrayed he feels. He trusted George, they grew up together. They went on vacation together, since he can think, they spent nights talking in Washington's house or in the gardens. There is nobody else he knows as good.

George is taken aback and lets his hands down. Philip rushes down the stairs and then slams the door shut, while Alexander Washington runs next to him.

George clasps the hand in front of his face, staring at the closed door. He can hear Philips car drive away, but still just stares.

What has he done?

  
  


At the same time, a different George is getting up to have breakfast and go jogging afterwards. Since his parents are in New York, being judges and therefor working, he doesn’t think anyone would visit him this morning.

The more surprised he is, when someone rings the doorbell. And they don’t stop ringing the doorbell.

He gets pissed up and opens up, looking at Philip, who put on some pants finall y.  "Oh, it's you." He sneers, leaning against the doorframe. 

“Let me in Eacker.” Philip only retorts and makes his way inside without waiting. His stomach bubbles with anger as he looks at George Eacker, raising a brow.

"Where's that little toy of yours?" Eacker ignores him to keep pushing further with a wicked grin, "Or did she die of shame after the whole world found out she was with you?" He laughed to himself. Philip just glares at him.

Philip snorts. "She's at home, with her father." He answers, not taking his shit. 

"Your house is ugly. Did you take the photo of Lafayette and Theodosia?”

Eacker shrugs. “What if I did?” Philip takes a photo from the stand and looks at it, cold. Eacker narrows his eyes dangerously. Philip looks him in the eyes. He provokes and rubs his feet over the clean floor, leaving stains of dirt and snow.

"You're delusional at best, and stupid at worst." Eacker hisses and flexes his wrist before whirling around and uppercutting Philip, who hardly reacts. Eacker presses his body onto Philip, who snorts through the pain. “This poisition is pretty gay you know-”

Eacker's face lowered to a dangerous fury, 

"You're even dumber than I thought." He hissed, cracking the bones in his fist before, "I'll make you regret coming here." Eacker swung again, this time aiming for his ribs. Philip goes with a scream to the ground. He fights for air in his lungs, but it doesn't work. He suffocates.

"You're nothing but a sadistic, spoiled boy that is never happy about anything he gets. Thats why you need people underneath you. If you don't,you have to face the fact that you're an ass."

"Maybe." Eacker walked back with a glint in his eye, wiping off the blood off his fists, "but that's better than being weak." He gave Philip's crumpled body a swift kick by his ribs, seeing red with the amount of anger he had, 

"Like you." Eacker kneeled to look him in the eye before delivering another kick.

"I'm not weak. I just think that toxic masculinity is another way to make you feel better. You can't stand the feeling of being shitty, can you?" He asks, voice raspy.

He can hardly breath, but his mouth just keeps talking. He doesn't even try to get Eaker of, but only curls together. "You are weak. So weak." He snickers, presses his forehead to his knees. He is delirious, hardly conscious.

Eacker holds up Philip's head by his hair to look him in the eyes, "I'm the one on the ground right now, writhing in pain." He hisses into his ear and knocks his head into the pavement for good measure. He's just about done, ready to kick Philip's crumpled body out into the cold street.


	23. Chapter 23

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I didn't think I would update so soon again. But I can't sleep and already watched Tangled tonight. Anyone else loving Disney princesses?
> 
> I'd be happy about some reviews :) enjoy the chapter

Chapter 23

_I'm a violent man who has learned not to be violent_

_and regrets his violence_

_// John Lennon //_

It's the eye of the hurricane. Thunder of voices yell outside the house, the flashlight of cameras is the lightning that cracks against the facade and Theodosia sits in the middle of the storm, not able to react to it.

The only difference is that it's baking hot. No rain in sight.

Aaron always did a good job with keeping Theodosia out of his politics. Even when he ran for President, when he was a Senator and made sure to be home every night and tuck her into bed. She was never in the media and he didn’t even show any pictures of her to the public. Most people don’t know he even has a daughter.

But Philip isn't. And George neither. They are famous, at least a little bit in the political circles. Of course they are, George Washington is the boy's Godfather.

"Yes- I know no. No!" Aaron groans frustrated and nods again, holding the phone to his ear. He looks exhausted as he speaks with one of his assistants, who called him in the early morning to tell him that his daughter made city news. Which wasn’t necessary to say, the reporters are already outside his house.

.

"My daughter will not be in the media! And that's my last word." With this he hangs the call up and drags a hand down his face.

Theodosia meanwhile sits at the kitchen table. She is furious on the phone, but Philip either ignores her calls or doesn't see them.

Aaron rubs his temple and turns to his daughter.

She looks down. "It will be over soon. It's just the media. Tomorrow someone will wear a new dress and they have something else to talk about." Aaron says encouraging, having dealt with the media before.

Theodosia wants to believe it. She really does, but she can't. And she doesn't care about the media! But Philip isn't answering his phone and George is the last person she wants to talk to right now. Her boyfriend probably hates her.

"He probably hates me. I have destroyed it." Theodosia whispers and starts crying. Aaron lays a hand onto her shoulder, firm but grounding. He knees next to her, hugs her tightly.

That's exactly why he didn't want her around Hamilton! This whole situation would've been bad enough without reporters lining the lawn.

"It's alright Dosia. It's okay." He says and kisses her hair fatherly.

Theodosia wraps her arms around his thin waist and buries the face on his stomach like she did as a child.

She stays so crumbled for a few seconds, before her phone starts ringing again.

She wipes some tears away and lets go of her father. She furrows her brows at Georges number on the screen, but then takes the call. "Hello?" She asks with a broken voice.

"Theodosia! Here is George de Lafayette." Georgie says, as if Theodosia didn’t have his number for at least 6 months now. He sounds more panicked than anything else. Theodosia closes her eyes, wants to hang up and be alone, but something tells her to keep listening. Maybe he knows something about Philip. Maybe he is already on the way here and everything will work out again!.

She doesn't want to, but she secretly keeps thinking that it's Georges fault.

"Hey-" Theodosia says, but George already interrupts her.

"Philip is in the hospital!"

Theodosias ears ring. It feels like he gave her a slap in the face, her head turning brightly hot.

"What?" She brings shaking out. It's not even 8 and already the second worst day of her life.

George babbles nervously, so fast and drained in accent that she can hardly understand it. The only words she catches are "broken" "beaten" and "operation."

But that's honestly enough. She fights herself onto her feet. "I come there. In what hospital?"

She feels dizzy, as George dictates her the room number and hospital. The whole world spins.

  
  


“Where is my son?”

“Mister Hamilton? Come in, they brought him in an hour ago.” The doctor has gray hair, but Alexander hardly recognizes anything about the man. Instead he follows him down the hallway, heart thumping in his chest with panic.

“He lost a lot of blood on the way over-”

“Is he alive?” Alexander hears the words with his own voice, but they burn tears into his intelligent eyes.

“Yes, but you have to understand that he just came out of the operation. There is blood in his lungs and a piece of his hip broke-”

“Can I see him? Please.” Alexander hardly recognizes his own words, but the doctors ring in his ears. He still can’t believe it.

“I’m doing everything I can.” The doctor stops in front of a door and looks at Alexander, who strokes brown hair from his face. He takes a deep breath and then rushes inside.

His son lays in the bed, a soft blanket over his body covers most of the bruises, but his left face is nearly black, the eye swollen. He is put onto some machines that show his heartbeat and blood, but that only makes him look worse.

Alexander tries to breath, which gets harder with every second he stares at his boy, who isn’t even conscious.

“Philip-”

“Pa-” Philip tries to open his eyes, but can hardly crack them open. Alexander takes his hand. “Pscht, safe your strength.”

Philip holds back a sob, still drained by medication and painkillers.

Alexander holds his hand tighter, holds back tears. Then Eliza storms inside. “Is he breathing? Is he going to survive this?” She screams high, running into the room and nearly shoving Alexander to the side. Philip cracks the eyes open again to look at her.

“Yeah I do.” He breathes out and Eliza exhales. She cups the side of Philips face that isnÄt bruised.

“Mom, I’m so sorry-” he adds. “Pscht, you need to stay grounded. Oh Goodness- Alexander did you know-”

“No, I just came here too.” Alexander says and lays his arm onto Eliza's waist, looking at Philip who is already going under again. Being pulled into sleep by the painkillers and medicine.


	24. Chapter 24

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Some organization-shit: I decided to cut the story in 2 parts. This one is soon over. It's maybe 2 chapters left, so I wanted to say thank-you to everyone supporting this story this far :)
> 
> I look forward to comments and hope you all keep reading the second part then too.  
> I hope you're all healthy out there and enjoy the chapter

Chapter 24

_At an early age I learned that people make mistakes, and you have to_

_decide if their mistakes are bigger than your love for them_

// Angie Thomas //

When he wakes up the next time, Alexander is gone. Philip blinks surprised over at the empty chairs. It’s jetblack and Eliza sits on one chair next to his bed, wrapped into her own hospital blanket, a sleeping Holly on her lap. Alex Washington lays on the floor, looks up at Philip with woken eyes, a trusting and calming brown. 

The dog gets up, rests his chin on the bedsheets and Philip buries a hand in his black fur. When did he get here, and who brought him?

“How are you Philip?” Eliza asks quite. Philip tries to shrug, but pain jolts through his shoulder. He screeches involunter. “Not good. Can they give me more painkillers?”

He would never ask if he wasn’t feeling like dying, but it’s nice to stop thinking about the whole day.

“Against the bruises or heartbreak?” Eliza asks patiently. She is just happy that Philip woke up again. He slept for more than 12 hours and she already worried he would fall into a coman. And still, she can’t stop worrying about her son, who looks so voluntire like this, so weak and small.

“Both.” Philip deadpans. Even talking pains him, his teeth feel shattered, but he wants it more than anything else. Just not be lonely. 

Eliza takes his hand again and Philip squeezes it tenderly. He feels the muscles in his arm move and looks at the other, which is in a cast.

“Georgie told me what happened. Did you hear him out?” She asks softly. Philip feels connected in the moment, knowing his mother had to feel like this. Or worse, when his father cheated with Maria Reynolds.

Still he shakes his head. “I don’t care that they kissed!” He says and leans the head exhausted back. It doesn’t make sense, he thinks. He already wants to sleep again. “I am angry they betrayed me! I mean- they lied to me. Isn’t that worse than one damn kiss?”

A smile pecks on Eliza's lips. “Ah I forgot. My son is a huge fan of monogamy.” She says teasing and sarcastic.

Philip huffs. “He is your best friend. And he did something hurtful and stupid. But he is sorry. Maybe hear him out. If you want. No girl is worth throwing away a friendship like this.

But now rest a bit.”

Eliza strokes blonde curls from Philips' freckled face, who leans into the tender touch. “We take turns in visiting. Your father comes back tomorrow okay? And Susan brought you this over.” She points at a stuffed animal of a little lion. The little animal nearly brings tears back into his eyes.

He isn’t alone, and Susan cares. She might act harsh, or not take any shit, but she cares about Philip like a brother. “Can she visit me?”

“Not yet darling. Reporters line the lawn, especially of our house and the Burrs. George’s too. Let it calm down before you get visitors okay? For now, only we come in here.” Eliza says, and Philip furrows his brows, which makes the hot skin of his face sting.

He honestly hasn’t thought about this. But of course, when a twitter-argument breaks loose the media is always hot to get photos of the people involved. And their parents are involved in world-politics.

“Where is my phone?” He asks. Eliza shakes her head. “It broke. I give you mine for now, but you rest afterwards okay?” Eliza says and hands her phone over.

Philip takes it thankful and types in George's number. He does it automatically. He always does, but then he deleted it again. He can’t stand a chat with George right now, so instead he just hands the phone back and closes his eyes again.

He desperately makes his muscles relax, hopes to be lulled into sleep again, but he is in a state of painkillers and pain, not able to sleep anymore and too tired to catch his own thoughts.

Eliza dozes off, but Philip keeps petting Alex. He whistles softly and pats the place at his legs. The huge dog jumps obediently up and curls on his legs together, which are the only part of his body that doesn’t hurt.

Now they are both alone. A boy and a stray, he thinks, feeling a tongue lick over his palm. He grins, eyes closed.

He falls asleep again, being lulled in by the warmth over his legs and the breath of his mother and sister. The next morning is late. He wakes up with Eliza already gone, Washington sitting on the empty table, pulling on some pair of socks, Alex pulling with his mouth on the other. Philip cracks his eyes open and watches them with a small smile.

He tries to sit up, but then opens his mouth to a ringing scream. He sinks back into the pillows again, the hand gripping for the side of his hipbone. “What the fu-”

“What's it?” Washington already stands next to his bed, pulls the blanket away to look at Philip. Alex barks, jumping between the ex-president and the bed. George breathes out, has to take a step back because of the stubborn pet and Philips eyes fall closed. “Don’t sit up boy.”

“What the hell is wrong with me, fucking shit.” Philip opens his eyes again, the side of his vision is blurred by teary eyes. He blinks against it.

“It’s the hip. A piece broke out, that's why they operated you.” Washington explains. Philip still presses his hand against the pain, which is bright and blurring. “They operated me?” He asks.

“What do I have?” He adds. Washington takes the file from the nightstand and opens it, lets his eyes scan the pages. “There was blood in your lungs, two rips are bruised badly and a piece broke from your hip. You were lucky. What even happened son?”

Philip makes a grimace, which only hurts his face. “I don’t know- nothing after driving towards New Jersey.”

“Well, then be happy that someone found you and called an ambulance.”

“You are kidding me- they brought me here in the fucking ambulance? Do you know how expensive that shit i-”

“Son, calm down. That’s your last worry now.” George says and even chuckles. Alex stops barking and jumps onto the bed again, rolling together on Philips legs. He groans under the weight.

“When can I leave? I hate hospitals.” He changes the subject and scratches Alex behind the ears. George shakes his head slightly in disbelief. “Not too soon. You need time to recover-”

“Can someone bring me my books then? I need to study, my exams are soon.”

Washington cocks a brow. “Philip Hamilton, you stay in this bed and recover properly, or so help me God.”

Philip bites his lower lip and leans back against the pillows. “I can study in bed. Why did they even let you in? Not even my sister is allowed to visit.”

“What? Do you think anyone dares to tell me no?” Washington asks, amused and Philip cackles, which turns fast into a cough.

Washington pats worried his back. “Want me to get a doctor?”

“No, a new pair of lungs rather.” Philip brings out. Washington exhales. He can’t be too bad anymore, when he is already joking again.

“I call your parents. You stay in bed, okay?” Philip nods obediently. He can hardly sit up, how is he supped to get out of bed?

It only takes 10 minutes until Alexander comes back, this time followed by Susan. PHilip raises a surprised brow, as she stops in front of his bed and looks down at him. Alexander has no time to say anything, because Susan is already swearing.

“You arrogant bastard! What do you think you are doing? You could’ve died Philip!” She screeches and then hugs her. Alex groans, but Philip hugs softly back, ignoring the stinging pain in his chest.

He wasn’t aware of that. But of course, he isnÄt feeling that well. They operated him. Blood in his lungs. He could’ve died.

“I’m sorry- I’m sorry Susan.” He says and sniffles. She lets slowly go of him, just furrows her brows. “How are you feeling?”

“Well, my rips hurt a bit-” Philip says joking and Susan shakes her head in disbelief. “Asshole.”

  
“Oh, were you worried about me Reynolds?” Philip asks, teasing, his voice flat and tired. Susan huffs. “Shut it Hamilton. Of course I was!” She cocks her head, narrows her eyes.

It’s easy to talk with Susan. If Angie was here it would be hurtful, but Susan is so light. She takes the things as they come and when Philip decides to joke and mock her she plays along.

“Wow, I never thought there was something that could make you look ugly.” She says.

“Ah, bite me. How is Angie?” He asks and actually takes Susans hand. She blinks surprised down at their intervent fingers, but then shrugs. “Worried. But I convinced her to talk with you first. About you and Georgie-”

“Don’t. Let it be.” Philip interrupts. Susan makes a face. “I was talking, so close your pretty mouth.” Susan says and Philip groans, which vibrates through his whole body.

“You know that he never wanted to betray you. Man, he is looking like shit, hasn’t closed an eye since you’re here. He is worried and feels awful for what happened. Hear him out okay?” Philip makes a face at her request, already about to shake his head, when Susan makes a pouting face. “Please- for me Pip. And for Angie. We want you to talk this out, it would mean so much to m-”

“Yeah yeah. I talk to him.” Philip grumbles. Susan giggles and sits cross legged onto the bed, leaning against the end of it. “You’re really feeling better right?”

“I don’t think I can feel worse like yesterday.” Philip answers sarcastically. Susan rolls her eyes. “Dork.”

But she is right. Philip knows she is right. And so is his mother.

It would be so easy to bury George in his thoughts. To lock him away, like he did with the Reynolds Pamphlet, like he did with all the bad things going on in his life. To ignore them forever, swallow this friendship down and bury all memories they made together.

And it aches. But he isn’t ready to just let George go. He would’ve told everyone else to go. To piss off and never come back. But he is different. He is the closest person Philip got. He is always there and he has hardly any memories without him and his companionship.

So when George visits him, looking nearly worse than Susan described it, they are not yelling. Philip sits silently there, listens to George telling what happened, and the French crying his eyes out, making Philip cry too. He cries a bit too much at the moment, but it is too much. Everything is too much.

“I never wanted to betray you Philip.You have to believe me. Please don’t hate me-”

“I don’t hate you, idiot.” Philip says and looks down at his hands. He can finally sit up a bit, which is helpful to get into the wheelchair and to the bathroom.

“I don’t hate you. I’m disappointed but damn- I wouldn’t have killed you if you told me! You do that again and I smack you to Canada.” He mumbles.

George stares at him, Philip looks back and raises a brow. And then George is all over him, hugging him so hard that Philip thinks it might open his wounds again. He yelps for air.

“Don’t kill me!” He screeches and George let's panicked go off him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Angie Thomas: https://www.instagram.com/angiethomas/?hl=de
> 
> The Hate U Give: https://www.amazon.de/Hate-U-Give-Angie-Thomas/dp/0062498533
> 
> My Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/ink.dreamers/


	25. Chapter 25

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all so much for following through with this story! It makes me really happy to see how invested some of you are and that you really enjoy it :)  
> This is now the last chapter of this part, and I hope you like it a lot. Maybe I'll see some of you in the second part as well. I look forward to it :D

Chapter 25

_I don't love you, like I loved you yesterday_

_// My Chemical Romance //_

It was better to have George around. It was easier, not to be so lonely. 

They sat together on the bed and played card games, or learned for their exams, which Philip still wanted to take as stubborn as he is. Sometimes Philip sat in the wheelchair and George shoved it laughing around the corridors. They got light food from the mensa, looked grim through the windows down at the reporters and wrote poetry. It was like they’re caught in a bubble, safe from reality.

Which was hard. There was the rule of not getting up for at least 2 months. Then training, so Philip would be able to walk again without too much pain. And the police checked in to ask him questions about the incident. But Philip still hardly remembered anything from it, or if he did he kept it to himself.

George also told him how Theodosia was doing. She wanted to visit, but her father said there is no way she leaves the house until all reporters are gone and this fuss is over. So she sat inside and watched Netflix most of the day.

_  
  
_

Nobody really thought about it, but Philip was also aware that this was his shot. It wasn’t his fault, of course it wasn’t, but Theodosia has a life ahead without her father. She doesn't need photos like this on the internet, or some kind of scandal.

And he was aware that Burr thought the same way. 

That’s why George was so surprised when the Senator showed up in the hospital room, while Philip looked unmoved.

George got up to leave, wanting to give them some space, but Aaron gave him a long look. “Stay, I want to talk.”

So George stayed and sat down again. Philip was in the wheelchair again, closed the book he had on his lap. William was outside with Alex for a walk, but he wouldn’t be here for a while anyway.

There was a beat of silence between the three males. Then: “I have one daughter, Hamilton. One. And she is all I have left of my family, so you will not destroy her future!”

He was already aware how this chat would go. He isn’t stupid and knows when he fucked up. And this wasn't his fault, but he read what Theodosia got called in the news and papers, by mainstream media. What every girl gets called with a scandal like this, no matter if it's true.

“And I don’t care who’s fault this is, but you will stay away! I said you have one chance and you threw it away. Now life up to your promise and stay away from Theodosia.”

George looked over at Philip, thinking Hamilton would open his mouth to a lot of smart retorts and words, but instead he just listened.

“And the same goes for you. If I see you around her again, I won’t ask nicely. And if I have to move to the other side of the continent for you two to get that!”Aaron swore and Philip just turned his head away, letting the words go through his head again.

He didn’t wait for an answer. Aaron was gone without another word, leaving Philip and George alone.

“He will see reaso-”

“He is right.” Philip interrupted. George stared surprised at him, as if he heard that wrong. “Parden?” They switchee into French, always do when they’re alone.

“ _ He is right. You know that those scandals don’t just disappear. Whenever someone will talk about her this thing will haunt her. We don’t have the right to destroy her life.”  _ Philip said and picked on his fingertips. He lookee awfully aware of the situation. Totally in his mind, and it scared George.

_ “I understand you’re scared Pip, but come on. What do you want to do hu? Tell her to leave you alone because you’re scared of her father?” _

_ “I am not scared of him! I just see his damn reasons. We did enough damage. And you will not tell her about this chat, or I swear that I will not speak to you again!” _

The boys fell into silence and George shook his head in disbelief. But Philip meant it. It was nobody's fault that this happened, but it did happen and he had to take the responsibility. God knew what would happen otherwise.

  
“ _ She won’t just give up on you.”  _ George finally broke their silence. Philip wrinkled his forehead. 

_ “Then I lie. I say something, I don’t know what.I’ll just do my worst.”  _ He retorted. George sighed long _. “This is a bad idea-” _

_ “Do you have a better one, that does not cause even more drama?”  _ Philip asked, now slightly pissed. George shook his head and got up.

_   
_ _ “You shouldn’t do it. But you’re my friend. If you do it, I’ll be there for you.”  _ With this they hugged.

And Philip did his worst. The ache in his chest had become a steady pain. But something inside shattered. Something small, that made Philip hurt even more.

He challenged the cold inside of him.

“What?” Theodosia breaths. She stands in front of his bed, the bouquet of roses upside down in her hand and looks down at Philip.

“I asked what you’re doing here.” Philip says, voice cold as ice. It makes a shiver crawl up his spine, as Theodosia stumbles unsure over her words.

“I- I wanted to see how you’re doing. I- bought you flowers.”

Philip looks away, out of the window. It's a warm day outside. ”Keep them and stop acting like you care.”

Theodosia blinks, feeling even more insecure. "I do care!" 

She thought he wasn’t angry at her, at least not this much. They talked through George, even called a few times and he acted as sweet as always.

“Come off it. You can go home now. We both got what we wanted right? You’re finally not a nerd anymore, at least not in school, and I rebelled against my dad. That’s it. Leave me alone, go home.” 

Theodosia still stares at him. She feels her eyes burn, and her stomach knot.

“I- you said I was the one-” She whispers with a small voice, slowly processing his words. 

Philip closes his eyes, shakes his head. He can hardly hold it together, sounds so distant and Theodosia just wants to run away. To wake up from this nightmare.

“Well, I didn’t mean it. Never did. Are you really that naive?” 

She feels like it would have been less painful if he shot her. Theodosia's eyes fill with tears, looking to the floor. He made a fool of her. "I see."

She breathes out, and the heart crushes in her chest, as she leaves without a goodbye. She thought she didn't have any tears left to cry after she sobbed to her dad, but here she was blubbering and wailing harder than she's ever had.

How had she ever been so stupid and believe him?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My Chemical Romance: https://youtu.be/pyi0ZfuIIvo


End file.
